If You Believe That Everything's Alright

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Tony

"EVELYN" I yell desperately into the darkness. I'm intoxicated and wandering the cold streets of San Francisco with Mike, searching for my girlfriend.

About fifteen minutes after she said she was going to the bathroom I started getting worried, so I got up and started searching. I couldn't see her on the dancefloor or at any other tables or near the bar. I asked some girls leaving the ladies room if they'd seen a girl with white-blond hair and a tight-fitting black dress, but they said they bathroom was empty. When I was sure no one was watching me, I slipped inside to have a look myself. It was definitely empty, except for one thing. A glittery black clutch purse, lying abandoned on the ground. Evelyn's. I picked it up and went to scour the bar further and check outside and around it.

The only other trace I found of her was two sparkly black high heels lying alone in a brick alleyway. I'm pretty sure they're hers. I can't bear to think of the reason why her purse was lying alone in the bathroom and her shoes in an alleyway behind the club. All I can think is that I wouldn't let her stay at the table to mind our drinks. I have a pretty good idea of what's happened to her and I'm pretty certain it's my fault.

Mike stands beside me and rubs my back consolingly as I crumble to the ground, dropping the purse and shoes I've been clutching. We had decided to spread out to search for Evelyn so Mike and I went together while Jaime and Vic went in the opposite direction. Some of the crew stayed in the bar to search and keep an eye out and the rest spread out among the streets like the band and I. We made sure to go in groups of at least two to be safe, in case our predictions about what happened to Evelyn are correct.

I just hope that he left her alive.

No, don't say that. She has to be alive. I can't give up hope. I will find her. She has to be alive.

I'm sitting on my bunk with my head in my hands. After hours of fruitless searching we went to the police station and filed a missing person report. They said they can't do much now because the person has to be missing for twenty-four hours before they will send out a search party, and they advised us to go home and let them know if she hasn't returned after that time.

Mike and Jaime had to drag me out of the station while Vic spoke to me, trying to calm me down. I'm usually a very calm person but I just snapped at the station. I can't wait twenty-four hours before they send out the search party. If she really has been taken by some sick, psychopathic rapist, it cannot wait. It shouldn't be allowed. She could die in that time, if she hasn't already.

"IT IS NOT OKAY, VIC!!" I had screamed at him as he tried to console me outside the station. "IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THIS FUCKING OKAY!?" I felt bad for yelling at him immediately afterwards. He looked shocked and hurt and at a loss for words. I'd never yelled at him before. I don't think he's seen me yell at anyone before.

"You're right," he said. "It's not okay. But it will be okay. We'll find her, and we'll find her alive. She's okay, and it will be fine."

"How do you know that?" I sobbed as I sank to the curb. "You can't know that. What if she's gone, Vic? What if we don't find her?" Vic didn't have anything to say to that.

A while later I tried to run off to search for her myself, but the guys just grabbed me again and dragged me back to the bus. They know that I would search all night if given the chance and they know that the more time I spend searching the more agitated I will make myself, because I won't find her. We already scoured all the surrounding streets and alleyways so she's either been left further away than we expected, her body has been dumped or hidden somewhere we can't reach or she is still with whoever took her. I just hope it's not the second option.

The guys have dragged me back to the bus and made me stay in my bunk and try and get some sleep. I know the other guys are keeping watch to make sure I don't run off. I haven't tried to run off but I haven't tried to sleep either, because I know I won't be able to. I won't be able to sleep until Evelyn is safe beside me.

Oh god, Evelyn. Where are you?

Title cred: Stay - Mayday Parade

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