A Barrel Of Angst

23

Another package came today. since the first, I have gotten five more. I did not tell Tessa about them. Just hid them in my room, the first was the red dress, the next day was a diamond encrusted purse.

And just so I knew it was real diamonds, he left the receipt in it. Such an ass! The third day was shoes really beautiful shoes, glass like. the fourth day brought diamond earrings, on the fifth day I got another dress. This one, low cut and silver coloured. I wonder how he knew what sizes to get, because they all fit perfectly. The sixth package was a box of chocolate, an accompanying note read "enjoy". Indeed, I did enjoy them. They tasted divine. In my defence I felt they'd go bad.

The room I had been given was proportionate to the small apartment. Under the small bed was now crammed with boxes and i was quickly running out of space. I do not know what to make of it, I'm conflicted about it hence why I haven't yet told Tessa about them.

what could this mean, what's his end game. we said our goodbyes, he was the past, like i was his. Why then will he send me these items.

And yes I'm so sure it was him. Him being mister Sanderson. I can smell the arrogance from a mile away. It is evident in the receipts he sent with the packages, I refuse to call them gifts. For all intents and purposes he'd only known me for about a week, and then i had left. Why then does he spend so much on a practical stranger.

I never asked Tessa if he'd left the hospital, but he should have. He was doing quite well before I left. There's no need wondering how he'd found me. The man was everything but stupid. But why he waited until now is what I cannot fathom.

I'd have come clean today, but Tessa is on the night shift today, it meant I was going to be all alone this night and some of tomorrow. It was not a very comforting thought, I'd come to rely on the stability and safety that Tessa represented. I have decided to come clean to Tessa, she has been so good to me, and deserved to know the truth though I suspect she has a working theory.

The woman was as smart as a whip. I will tell her everything, withholding nothing. I am finally ready to speak, I guess I needed the time to reflect and think, to grieve to heal, and just breathe.

Day seven, today. I must confess I was looking forward to what today will bring, but nothing had come yet. Odd, the packages were usually delivered early, but nothing had come. I was beginning to think he'd gotten tired of sending them when the knock came. Better late than never I guess.

I do not bother looking through the peephole, I know its the sane lady who's delivered the previous packages.  I open the door, ready to receive what she had this time, but it is not the lady this time, it him, mister Sanderson. In flesh and blood. On the seventh day.

"Hello Mofe, how are you? these are for you" he stretches out a bouquet of red roses. I stare dumbly at him, too shocked to do anything.

When the side of his mouth morphs  into that hated smirk, I quickly snap out of my daze.

"What do you want" I ask
"Why, to see my former employee of course. Can I come in?" He does not wait for a reply but let's himself in. The nerve!

"Did you get the gifts I sent you? I ran out of ideas, the last day that's why it was just chocolate. Hope you didn't mind"

"How symbolic for you to be here on the seventh day"

"I know...I'm glad you agree"

"I do not agree. Are you being deliberately dense?"

"I don't know what you mean"

"Mr Sanderson, what do you want? We said our goodbyes, why will you seek me out and send me such expensive gifts? Well, that's easily remedied. Now that you're here you can take them along with you. Except the chocolate. Ants got into it, I had to throw it out"

"that was quite the mouthful. You may want to catch your breath. Are your going to stand out there all day?"

"Yes, I will" I glare hatefully at the man. I do not trust that man. I'll stand out here by the door till he leaves.

"Okay then, suit yourself. First i did not come here to take back the gifts i gave you, i came to apologize. You'll forgive me if I don't do it properly. It is not something I do often"

He pauses, then inhales deeply. As the air is expelled from his lungs, his demeanor changes. Gone is the easy confidence, it is replaced by a nervous look.

"Okay....take your time"

"I'm sorry, for what I did to you. I know what I did, I never forgot. Loosing my memory, that was all a lie. I know I have done you great wrong, there is no excuse for what I've done and no explanation will justify it. so I offer none. But I am truly truly sorry Mofe. And I know sorry doesn't change anything, but it is all I can do. Know this though, if I could change how things happened between us, I'll do it in a heartbeat"

I must not be hearing correctly. He lied?

"You lied?....you remember?"

He has his head bent, but he nods in affirmation. "oh my God! do you know what you've done?" I scream at him, my voice rising with each word. I'm more angry than pained right now, I'd gotten rid of my baby. All because of a  lie.

"Get out" the words are barely more than a whisper. He does not try to offer any explanation, doesn't say a word, he rises from the chair, leaving behind the flowers. When he gets to where I stand, he hesitates. Before he can say anything else, I slam the door in his face.

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