Tytianna
January 10, 2013
"Yo all I wanna here you say is, no matter what you're not going to turn your back on me." Rashun looked me dead in my eyes as I gave him a nervous look. I nodded slowly while making eye contact. "Tyti let me here you say it." He demanded his deep voice sent a chill throughout my entire body and I chewed the inside of my jaw out of nervousness.
"No matter what I'm not going to turn my back on you Rashun." I looked him dead in his eyes meaning every single word that I said. He cracked a smile before his lips met mine.
"That's a good girl." His hand found there way to my slightly huge belly and he ran his hand in circles. "Take care of our girls Tyti. Make sure they don't live a life that I have." His smile faded as he went deep into thought just staring at my stomach.
"Rashun?" He looked up at me snapping out of his daze. "I love you." The response I was expecting wasn't what came out of his mouth. In fact he just looked at me with a blank face as if I hasn't said the three most important words of a long time relationship. 5 years of being with him and I have yet to here the words I so desperately wanted to hear.
My eyes began to water and it wasn't as if I was weak or anything but being four months pregnant with twins had my emotions all over the place.
"Tyti don't start that crying shit. I told you many times before." He sighed and wiped my eyes with his thumbs. "You know I feel for you or else we wouldn't be where we are right now. I just have a hard time saying something that I never received. Shit I just can't Tyti."
My sadness went out the window and was replaced with rage. "So what happens when they're born huh?" I pointed at my stomach. "You gone coward out from telling your seeds the three words they are going to NEED to hear! What about when they cry because daddy to afraid to say I love you. What then?"
I found myself pushing him knowing he had a bad temper. But I didn't care. He needed to get over his past.
"Look I didn't come here to fucking argue with you and you know that. I have three days before I have to turn myself in and you want to argue. I'll be gone for three years-"
"That's your fucking fault! Tell me you love me Rashun or I swear I'll walk out that door and I won't look back."
He looked at me with hurt written in his eyes. "Tyti...." he looked down and I just knew he wasn't going to say it. It shouldn't be that damn hard to say three words. I.LOVE.YOU.
So you would rather lose me then tell me that? That's just fucking great. Your twenty years old Rashun. You need to start acting like it. I grabbed my things and headed for the door. He lightly grabbed my arm and I pushed him away.
"So that's how shit is now Tyti" he clenched his jaws and gave me an intense stare. "You just going to leave me hanging just like that?"
"Rashun it's-"
"It's cool. Ain't like this shit haven't happened plenty of times before. Just another bitch added to the list of disappointments."
"So I'm a bitch now?"
"Leave Tyti, just send me a picture of my girls when there born." He turned around and walked towards the back of the house, leaving me standing there.
I wiped my face and proceeded out the door not once looking back...
July 5,2013 11:54am
Oooo my god! It hurts so bad mom!" Tears were streaming down my face as the doctor ordered me to push. Fear, nervousness and pain was clearly written all over my face. I shook my head telling him no.
"Tytianna if you don't push them damn babies out Ima go in and snatch them out!" My mom yelled through her clenched teeth. I took a deep breath before giving a big push.
"That's it I see the head, give me another big push." I did before the doctor pulled the rest of her body out of me and her cries were heard. I slightly smiled and watched as he held her up."it's a girl." She looked so much like Rashun it was crazy.
The nurses took her to get cleaned. My focus turned towards my second baby girl as she was ready to come out. I have another big push and that was all it took for her to come out screaming louder than her sister. I was exhausted.
"Another girl. Congratulations mom. You did good." I smiled up at my doctor before they took her as well.
"My grand babies are so beautiful. Did you pick out any names yet."
"I gave it some thought, I like Ryan and Reagan. What do you think?"
"I like them."
"Ryan Teyana and Reagan Talia Taylor." I smiled. Of course I wanted to give my girls their fathers last name.
"Rashun would be so proud."my mom said making my smile fade. I haven't even talked to Rashun and I honestly regret leaving the way I did. I was basically leaving him with no one.
My thoughts took over my mind and I didn't even hear the nurse bring the girls in. I smiled and grabbed Reagan since she was closest to me. She had smooth Carmel skin, big doe eyes and a head full of curly hair. She looked also like Rashun only having my skin color and nose.
My mom brought Ryan over and she too had my skin tone and nose. They looked alike but I could tell the difference between the two. Ryan had my heart shaped lips and Reagan didn't. Her hair was also curly and had big doe eyes.
I smiled looking at my girls. Wanting to be apart of everything that was to come. I was 20years old and in those 20years nothing was a greater feeling.
