Once Upon A Dream ♡ Frerard

Twenty Two

Trigger warnings: death, mentions of rape, and the same trigger warnings for homophobia and such. Last chapter before the epilogue.

Frank did not feel human anymore. No, he felt like an experiment that had gone wrong, a mistake everyone went to the ends of the earth to correct. He was treated like one, put under the violent hands of people who saw him as lesser than a human being. The institute alone was a dark, chilling place, no one ever left their cells unless they were permitted to to shower and to use the restroom, but the rest of the time, they were kept inside their empty rooms. And the silence, the silence was possibly the worst part. There was minimal sound during the day, long stretches of pure nothingness ensued and each day, Frank felt a tiny piece of him die off for good. He had Gerard to speak to, his love to look at whenever he couldn't stand seeing the color white anymore, but seeing him felt like a reassurance for nothing now. He accepted they were sealed up in this institute until their flesh began to hang off their bones, until their sole existence had no purpose and they would be forgotten to die in their cells. He was never going to touch Gerard again, or kiss him, not even press a single fingertip to his cheek. While Gerard had remained hopeful for longer than Frank had, he lost it all eventually when therapy ensued and a worse fate came among them, one that had Gerard going as numb as his lover felt.

Sex therapy was the next step in Frank's treatment, a process he figured out as soon as they showed him the same things they had shown Gerard. The nurse was female, of course, lovely but full of venom as she strapped Frank into place and had her way with him. Her sounds, her touch, the feeling of her on top of him, it sent Frank into a headspace where everything around him was blurry and disproportioned. His mind had already blocked out most of the event, but he knew enough to put the pieces together and choke out to Gerard what had been done to him. Both of them suffering from the numbness of violation and knowing the other had been violated, it was awfully silent for a handful of days. Everything fell out of place and Frank felt like he was living in a new skin that was not ready to be exposed to the world yet. They had ripped off his skin, leaving him raw and robbed. Along came the pain of knowing this would not be a once in a lifetime thing, they would continue to do such things to him and Gerard until they fell out of their sexuality. It was not possible, thus, Frank braced himself for years of being raped and probed, shocked and injected by vomit inducing drugs, every single dreadful thing would go on and on. It was an insane asylum going in reverse, driving them to the brink of insanity until they felt nothing but madness instead of love and the strength to hold on.

Frank was standing at the glass, watching as Gerard rubbed the purple ring of bruises around his wrists from the times he had tried to fight against the bindings. Electroshock therapy. Possibly the second worst, right behind sex therapy.

"It's useless to fight against them, Gerard." Frank's eyes were glued to the bruises, ruining Gerard's soft pale skin.

"I don't know why I still do it." Gerard dropped his arms to his sides. "Even they tell me there's no point."

"Instinct." Frank sank down to the ground, feeling the cold bite of it through his clothing. "Fight or flight. Not that we have a choice."

Gerard also went to sit on the ground, but his movements were slower, careful. Almost like he was measuring the distance between him and the ground, and calculating the temperature all at once. Once he was sitting, he folded his legs and his hands, lifting his eyes and staring at Frank. Frank stared back, looking past his reflection and at the only person he had ever felt love for, the only person he would ever feel love for. For all they had been through, Frank admired Gerard for still having a hint of sparkle left in his eyes. Gerard was still gently probing his bruises, pursing his lips for a moment.

"I had a thought." Gerard said softly.

"What was your thought?" Frank pressed his palms against his knees, eager to be distracted by whatever Gerard had to say.