To Wait For You- Komaeda Nagito X Reader

Chapter 5: No matter how long it is-

Two months.

He pretended not to notice the way his hands passed right through hers, unable to feel it entirely. He gazed at her sleeping face, and took in every detail about it that he could. Despite all the tubes inserted into her body, she was as beautiful as always. A soft smile adorned his face as he allowed himself to speak about his observations of the human life and nature, and how he felt about it. He talked about anything, nothing and everything.

From how he watched the flowers that preschool children planted grew and blossomed, to how he missed eating his favourite food, to how many stars he counted before sleeping the previous night.

To how he missed her.

Her voice, her smile, her stories.

Her.

He had been doing so for over two months. Over sixty-one days.

And he never stopped.

"It's the sixty-eighth day, today. The old man next door to you just got released from the hospital. I wonder how long more it is until you do the same? Oh... The third lily that the kids planted outside got walked over by a high-schooler today. They cried for thirty minutes straight! I was torn between feeling bad for them or getting amused by how awkwardly the guy stood there and tried to apologise. Hey, last night, there was a shooting star, and it lit up the sky for a second, but I made a wish by then! I wished... That once you wake up, you'll be able to see me, and I can give you the biggest hug. And then I'll tell you about how am by your side the whole way through, and the silly things I saw. And we can laugh together. Like we used to."

He paused for a bit.

"Ah, I told you, but for some reason... I think it will still come true. Because... "

" Because [Name] is my hope, after all. "

"Ah. Your mother, she came again. She was holding your hand in her sleep. I wonder if there will come a day when I can feel your warmth? You have a nice mother. Your father came today, too. He bought you a stuffed toy. He even attached a letter to it so that you could read about it once you wake up. He's so caring, right? He told you that he loves you."

"I really... Am sorry. I couldn't be there when you needed me. I left you alone. I... Even though I'm not even real. Even though I'm not even here- my luck has cause so much trouble for a hope as bright as yours. Even though... I don't deserve to be here... Trash like me isn't meant to be around hopes like you, after all."

"Even so...You will wake up, right? You don't have to forgive me... So, just wake up soon, okay? Your father, your mother, myself. We miss you."

He stood up and looked at her, before he bit his quivering lower lip and walked towards the door.

"I... The only thing I've ever done in my life was wait.
I've waited for my parents. I've waited to make friends. I waited for the bus daily. And, I've grown really good at waiting! Waiting is the only thing trash like me can ever do, after all. So, as long as you wake up, I don't mind, no matter how long it is... A year, or two. Or even ten..."

"I'll wait for you."

~*~

The male walked into the cool confiding of the pouring rain. The pitter patter of the rain created a shield around him. He loved the rain, he always had. The silver puddles create an obstacle course that only the bravest battle. The sky was grey. Everything was in some form of grey; it always had been. He wondered what colour things were when it's raining. Maybe there aren't any at all. Maybe there is only black and white and different shades of in between. That 'in between', the space of wonder, of mystery, is a place that he loved. It was a place of truth; where everything was represented in its true form - grey. It was a place free of propaganda and illusion, rid of any lies and deceit, away from self loathing and blame; as it was grey, and that wonderful colour was everything.

The rain had lost the ambient temperature of early fall, though it passed through him, it froze and further paled his skin on contact. The path through the park is muddy water in motion, filling deep puddles that hide the ruts of dryer weather. To feel it isn't enjoyment, not fun like the gentle sunshine of springtime, yet it is a part of life and he wanted to feel just the same. He wanted to experience each and every drop, together and apart, same and different. He wanted to see the droplets soaking his eyelashes before they join their brethren on the ground like salt-less tears.

He couldn't recognise the tears that started to mix with rain.

~*~

"It's day seventy-three today."
He started his daily report with a shaky breath.

"I can't help but feel lonely without you. Almost hopeless. Of course, I would, wouldn't I? You are the only one who knows I even exist, after all. Oh, Happy Birthday, if you don't mind trash like me wishing you, I mean. Hey, you are sixteen today, congratulations! You're one year younger than me, I guess. Your parents brought you a cake, and they sang you your birthday song. They brought a lot of presents! I can see them piling on the corner of the table beside you. I won't tell you what they are, so... If you want to know, please wake up."

A humourless laugh. A shaky breath.

"Though you are so warm I feel like I am in the wrong place, as if such comfort is only meant for others. I could lose myself in your words and in the depth of your eyes; I could feel at home. Yet after so long of dancing around the needs and wants of others, always having to give so much of myself, this feels foreign. Even though you are the only water in this desert, I stand still and just watch, tempted but paralyzed."

"Come back soon, okay? You might want to hurry up, though, your parents are crying. You don't want to make them sad, right? I'll let you rest alone in peace now, good night. I wonder if you can dream in coma? But sweet dreams."

"Again... I'll still wait for you."

~*~