LIGHTED FEELINGS

Chapter One

What did I do? What did I do to deserve this. My sister? My own sister would betray me like this. My older sister, the girl I looked up to half my life. But, I feel more hate towards her than the man who she betrayed me with. My fiance. The man I was set to marry in less than a week. My life went to complete crap in less than an hour.

My own sister... God I am never going to get over this. I don't even want to step outside my apartment ever again but I know I will have to face reality soon. Just yesterday, I was throwing my now Ex fiancé's things off the balcony of my bedroom.

I don't know who to turn to. Three years of my life, just wasted and I will never get it back. My best friend well she is too busy partying to even acknowledge me. She didn't even have the decency to show up today. So I guess you could say that, that means she is not my best friend. But she is really nothing compared to my ex fiancé, Will, well William but I hope I won't ever have to see him again.

My parents... Well they are just disappointed in me. I just knew that they couldn't wait to say I told you so. They never liked William. I don't know" what it was about him that they did not like.

Oh and I can not forget the guy that only put the icing on the cake. The man I need most right now, my best friend since childhood, Adam. I haven't seen him all week. I expected more from him.

Just about only a few days ago, I was preparing myself to walk down the isle. Nearly everything, had already been set into place. I was getting married. I let out another sob trying to wipe my tears away but it obviously, wasn't working.

I don't understand. Why stay with me this long why propose? Why set a date why go all the way up till the wedding than break off the engagement just a few days before the ceremony. Is something wrong with me? What am I not pretty enough? Am I not good enough that he has to go and pursue my own sister.

What, am I even saying? If I wasn't pretty enough he wouldn't be with my sister. I mean I look almost just like her.

I am more ashamed of myself than I am embarrassed because I let this happen. I let myself fall in love with the wrong man. I knew something was wrong, that something was off about everything. That he was just too perfect . But I just wanted it all so bad. And look where I am now. Wallowing in my own pity.

There was suddenly a soft knock at  my front door. Which pulled me out of my thoughts. I looked up at the dark brown wooden door.

Not wanting any visitors I tell them to go away but I guess I didn't make myself clear. Cause unexpectedly I hear the sound of it being unlocked.

Who the hell? Who has a key to my place? I jump up in question trying to wipe my tears away quickly making my way to the door. Hearing the top lock being unlocked I quickly turned the door knob and pulled it open.

I roll my eyes at seeing who it is ready to close the door seeing that it is just Adam. I take in his appearance from head to toe.

I stare to his messy hair, big blue soul taking orbs all the way to his black  tightly fitted. To the alcohol that I can clearly smell. Smelling it was even intoxicating.

It's obvious that he's been drinking but really... He isn't drunk but he's way past sober.

"Faye, I-" Not letting him finish, I quickly shut the door. Realizing that that door isn't shutting I look down and see his large foot in my door way.

You've got to be fucking kidding me are you serious! I yell out in my head.

"Adam, please go I just- I just need to be alone right now." I say as calm as I can. Looking everywhere but him. I needed him at a time and I was really in need of a friend and mine were no where to be found.
So, now I just want to sit on my comfy couch drink that tequila. That William was really looking forward to drinking. Relax and just stare at the wall. Who needs TV the wall is just so interesting.

"Faye please, I just want to talk to you. Please let me in. I heard about what happened with William we can talk about it if you want... Or not. Just please can I come in." He begs making me to cringe upon hearing his name.

Once again, I roll my eyes. Opening the door wider, I walk away and go sit back on my couch lifting the half empty bottle back up to my lips as I watch Adam walk in and shut the door behind him while staring at me.
Out of annoyance of his stares I turn my head in the other direction. And began to gulp down the tequila.

"Say what you need to say than leave." I bluntly state starting to feel the effects of the 2 shots of vodka and now the tequila slightly feeling a little out of it.

I watch as he comes over and takes a seat right beside me.

Surprisingly, he did not take the bottle from me. Usually, if he saw me with anything with alcohol he'd act like my father and monitor me like I was a child snatching the bottle from me without any sort of hesitation at all.

Damn he must really be drunk I take back what I said earlier. I guess I was wrong. Its crazy how he still has not taken the bottle from me.
"Faye, I am sorry. I am sorry for not being here for you. I'm sorry for everything. I know, I let you down I disappointed you I know I should've been there... I heard about what happened with you and William."

"And?" I say trying to act as if I didn't care when deep down I was hurting. Deep down I was hurting like hell.

Staring at the bottle. I laugh out loud to myself. I'm sure am glad I took this bottle from gifts of the wedding shower. We didn't even make it to the rehearsal dinner.

I feel myself laugh even more that I've been pitying myself for the past 2 days.
Wow. Okay. Now I know I'm tipsy or likely past it if I start laughing at my own self.

I look up to see, Adam staring at me. While I was still laughing my ass off.
Before, I can react he snatches the bottle from my hand laughs back at me before bring it up to his lips and chugging it down. As I stare shocked. Well that's how I know he's way way past sober. He'd never drink with me he doesn't like when I drink regardless its just facts.

"And, I know I should've told you this along time ago but I wanted you to be happy and your were with William. No matter, how much it pained me I didn't want to interfere with your relationship because I saw how happy you were with him but no-" he explains with the tequila still in his hand.

If he is going to tell me a whole damn speech I am going to need a drink first. I quickly snatch the bottle from his hand. And with out any thought I throw my hea d back taking a gulp. And I'm the one who usually doesn't like to drink.
I feel the bottle suddenly being yanked out of my hands but I refuse to let go. So as expected this turns into an all out tug of war.

Nope, he is so not going to take this bottle from me. It's mine. I know I am clearly drunk so I was a bit weak. So when he pulled the bottle back I came forward crashing down on top of him. In the position of me in my over sized T-shirt came half way up causing half my ass to be out slumped on top of him reaching to get the bottle back.

While reaching for the bottle I look down into his deep blue eyes. That hypnotized me. I couldn't take my eyes off of him. So when I felt his hand pressed up against my ass. I didn't have it in me to protest against it. I didn't want to at least.