LIGHTED FEELINGS

Chapter Six

"Faye, its has at least been 10 minutes now. Come on, can we please check the suspense is killing me." Amber whined plopping down on the couch beside Faye who sat staring off hitting her lip.

Hearing her words register in her Faye looked up with her eyebrows furrowed.
She couldn't help but to roll her eyes.

How can she talk about suspense right now? Faye thought to herself with a glare now on her face.

"The suspense? Is killing you? I'm sorry but are you the one waiting to find out rather or not if you're pregnant?"
They had gotten back just twenty minutes ago and soon as they were in the door, Faye was rushing to her bathroom to take the test.

"We could've checked five minutes ago the timer is up. Come on, Faye please." Amber was now begging and Faye hates when she does it. Especially now because she felt herself getting hot.

But when Faye realized she was getting hot in anger for no reason Faye decided to give in.

"Alright, damn you can go look at the test." Faye said placing her hands on her face and dragging them down.

Faye could feel her anxiety taking over.
It had on my been one time. She's only had sex once, and that she barely even remembers.

She didn't know how to feel. This is all what she had planned to do with William. Getting married, giving herself to her husband then having kids.

None of that went according to plan for her. It all had just went down hill. Faye felt like if it came out positive she think on the bright side of the things but if it came out negative well, she'd probably be filled with relief.

"Oh my god!" Amber yelled from the bathroom.

"Adam's got some swimmers!" Faye felt her drop and a frowned found its way onto her lips.

Amber came jogging in with a huge smile on her face and the test in hand.

Amber put the test in front of Faye's face. And all her worries heightened when her eyes landed on the words that read pregnant.

She was beside herself.

When Amber took note of Faye's expression she realized exactly what was wrong and sat the test down on the side table before sitting down next to Faye.

Faye's eyes were starting to water.
"Faye, please do not cry. Everything is going to be okay. You being pregnant really after everything that's happened in the past few months I'd say is a blessing. Don't view this as a bad thing. Think about the bright side or all this."

"Amber, please just shut up. I cannot think when you're talking in my ear."
Faye glared before getting up going to her room closing and locking her door after her.

"Faye, come on. Open the door" Amber knocked on the door several times while Faye ignored her.

"Amber, can you please just go? I want to be alone right now. I need sometime to think."
Faye pleaded through the door.

"Faye no, you've basically been closing yourself off from everyone for past month and a half. I am not leaving you alone for any longer." Amber retorted crossing her arms over her chest.

"Fine I'll give you sometime to think but I am not leaving." Amber yelled through the door and after that Faye did not respond.

With that Amber went back into the living room and took a seat on the couch.

Faye's P. O. V.

What am I going to do?
I'm only twenty four, am I really ready for child?

I'm not married or in a relationship. And the father. Oh my god the father, how am I going to tell him?

We also slept together almost four months ago.
This explains why I've been feeling sick lately.
And the mood swings, and my clothes but this all seems way too real.

Part of me wishes this is all a dream and that I will wake up any second from now. But I know that it is not.
What have I gotten myself into?

Everything with Adam. I was starting to feel like I was leading him on but everything about him all of a sudden just makes me feel secure, safe even.

And either way it doesn't sit right with me. This is all so rushed. It is all happening so fast.
I am setting his child. That just feels so weird.
I mean I know the man like the back of my hand. Well maybe not because I hadn't known his feelings for me till now, and we've been best friends for years and years.

How would he react to this? Will he reject his child? Can I even do this? do I want to keep it?
What am I thinking of course I want to keep it I don't know if I could take it if I took the life of my unborn child.

But am I ready for this? I am so young.
Even if I was about to walk down the aisle ready to marry and be with for the rest of my life almost five months ago. This all just seems so strange.
William and I had talked about this and the plan was to wait a few years after we were married to start a family.
But like him it was just not meant to be.

Obviously, this is the universes way of telling me to wake the fuck and stop being oblivious to any and everything around me because look at the situation I am in now.

How am I going to tell my parents. I have always been the one to say that I am saving myself for marriage But what will they think when I go and tell them that I went and got myself knocked up and I don't even really remember the night like that and the father is my best friend?

But either way, I cannot ever stop looking at the bright side of this and not could I ever see this child as a burden.

The questions are, will I get through this? How will I tell Adam? Will Adam reject us? And when will I get my shit together? Because in this journey I will need money a baby is not cheap I need to start working again.

Since I am really a few weeks along I need to get it together and speak to Adam soon. Very very soon, this is not something I can just hide.

It time for me to stop wallowing in my own self pitty because that is not me. No wonder Amber is fed up with me. I am fed up with me too.