XO- gee

XO- three

Trying to apologize for my mother was difficult. Something more difficult was seeing the looks on the others faces after she was done. When I looked at him he looked at me back and he smiled awkwardly. I should apologize for her but honestly, he's the one that waned to come with us so he should be sucking it up.

Ah fuck it.

"Frankie I'm sorry about her-"

Of course I gave in.

"It's alright, I uh I'm used to it"

He shrugged his shoulders. Although I wanted to comfort him I was really pissed at the moment. I couldn't give comfort to him and tell him I was sorry and all that shit because I wanted to punch a wall.

She was going to kick me out, how could she? I deliver for her, I buy for her, I even fucking beat people up for her and she wants to get rid of me? Ever since the beginning, I've been the best one on her team.

I doubt she even loves me. Or loved me. She has always hated my guts no matter what I did.

Age five I made her a clay sculpture for her birthday, she tossed it and said it wasn't accurate enough.

At age thirteen I tried out for football because of her. She thought I was too feminine. So I tried out and when I made it she got emotional saying that I wanted to spend time on the field instead of with her.

And even these past years, any little thing- I fuck up. It's always me. Gerard, Gerard, Gerard.

Always Gerard's fault everything happens because of Gerard.

That Mexican guy that's dead? Gerard's fault. Why? Oh because Gerard delivered the drugs to the wrong person and they threatened to fuck with us. So my mother just had to kill him.

Accidentally giving a guy at some store my old fake id instead of my new one? Fuck up.

Everything is wrong with me.

"G-gee?"

I slammed my fists down so hard on the table it made a hole. I screamed out of anger and I stood up.

"We gotta get out of here. Let's drive, take everything and drive. All the way across country, New York. Let's go there I know this chick who was like my best costumer, she'll help us-"

"Gerard were in Washington state, that's all the way across country. Not to mention your mom will kill us-"

I shook my head. I grabbed my duffle bag and started packing the basic necessities.

As for the safes, I knew the code to everything it was simple really, my birthday and her birthday added together. You'd think that she'd put in a better code but no, she's dumb and did something simple. At least it works in my favor.

Frank looked scared but I had a perfect plan that would keep him and I safe.

"Gerard are you sure we should do this? I mean, it's your mother for Christ sake"

I looked over at him and he ducked his head down understanding. I tossed him a duffle and told him to start packing.

It was simple, she'd be back by eleven o'clock, everything in the warehouse will be moved to the edges of the small loft and nothing but a single black balloon will be at the front door of the place, right when she enters.

The rest of the wooden warehouse will be covered, drenched in lighter fluid. I remember my mother told me we had it for special reasons, I assume it was our next gig but I guess it works for this too huh?

She'd walk in, and everything would be burning, just like the passionate hatred I have for her.

"What do I pack?"

Frank snapped me out of my thoughts. I checked my watch, it was only nine thirty. She wouldn't be home till late and I knew that.

"Anything"

I started rummaging through the clothing and then once I packed a bunch I started on the safes.

I pulled out my phone and started to calculate the codes. The first lock popped, dumb woman.

The next lock popped easily, then the last safe with all the product. Maybe the most important one. Yeah if I took her money she'd live, she could sell the product and earn it back but if I take away her main source, she'd be done for.

I popped it open and my mouth hung agape... all that weed, all the drugs that where there... everything.

"Gerard come on you've been staring at the drugs for hours."

He poked me, I looked at him and I smiled. I hugged him and kissed his cheek.

"My own business. My own life. Frank it's finally happening"

"I'm really happy for you" he said

"I'm h-happy you could be a part of it"

I didn't realize I was speaking what was on my mind, then another thought hit me- why was that on my mind?

Frank bit his lip, I couldn't help but do the same to my own, but oh how I wanted to do it to his lips.

"Gerard I-"

"Shut up and kiss me"

I pulled him in by his neck and kissed him. It wasn't even a millisecond before he started kissing back. It was amazing, more than amazing it was addictive.

I loved his lips, I always have. He was a good kisser, I hope I was doing okay. Oh god I'm kissing a guy! Im fucking kissing another man! I'm kissing frank though, I'm fucking kissing frank. Fuck.

He grabbed my waist and pulled my body close to his. I couldn't help but moan the slightest bit. I mean, I've never had any human interaction or touch besides my mother smacking me so this...fuck this was amazing.

I pulled away and I smirked, he did too.

"New York"

I whispered and he mouthed the words back to me.

I pulled out of his grasp and I started packing the drugs into my extra duffle while frank drove the car around to the back door so we could get out of there as quick as possible.

I started to load the car, it was a big car, I remember buying it with my dad when I was four. Four, I know- great memory Gerard.

The smile on his face when he was told the car was officially his was the most beautiful thing I've seen.

I started pouring the lighter fluid over everything, being careful not to get it on myself. Frank was waiting for me, he was a doll.

I checked the time, eleven fifteen. She should be home.

And I was right, she was just pulling up.

"Get in the car, start it up"

I didn't get an answer and I looked over at him with a confused face.

"G-gee are you sure about this? What if we get caught what if-"

"She's my mother, she'd have to kill herself before she kills me. She's done for. Get in the car frank"

"Gera-"

"In the car frank."

I struck the match and I watched it with my eyes. I heard her door shut and I tossed the match.

The red fire started to crawl all around the loft, burning all of what was left in there. Everything was gone now.

Although I would have wished to see the look on her face I couldn't risk it. I heard her trying to unlock the door and I hopped out the back door and jumped into the car, started the ignition and drove.

The same walkie-talkie was in the room and in my car. I was trying to listen to what she was saying but I couldn't hear that well.

A small laugh escaped her mouth but I heard it.

"x...o...gee."

I guess it's a Way thing to smirk because damn, she was screwed.