XO- gee

XO- eight

He didn't come back until very late at night. He worried me all day but I stayed at my desk, creating the most random images that popped up into my mind.

That was something I did when I was nervous. For as long as I can remember I always had to keep myself occupied to take my mind off of reality.

Whether it was drawing until I broke all my fingers or dancing until I broke all my toes, I needed the distractions so I wouldn't have a mental breakdown.

Sometimes if I even had the slightest thought, a little snippet of how stressful things where I'd go insane. I needed to keep my brain occupied and focused on one thing I was doing until I could calm myself down.

I guess drawing was what I decided to do at this time.

Blue actually has a best friend. Her name is Red. Red is an older version of the porno bots so her battery is all screwed up. The reason for that is just like with these new phones and all. You look at the newest phone that came out and you see how fast things load and how quickly it powers on and off and how the quality is way better.

Then you look at the version right before it and you'd want to toss it immediately. The older version doesn't function like it used to or like we are used to (aka the super speedy fast everything)

So Red is stuck at home, unable to work because she's unable to function, just like the old version of a phone. Blue tries her hardest to screw as many guys as she could to help her best friend and her partner in crime.

One of the guys she screwed worked for the government who watched everywhere, he was a complete douche bag. He treated her like shit and didn't pay as much as she expected.

From the moment he saw her on the street until the moment he was telling her to leave the hotel room because he didn't want to be charged extra. He treated her like a piece of garbage.

Fucking douche bag. Asshole. Shit face.

God dammit frank.

Why'd he have to just leave like that?

Frank.

"This looks really good gee"

I jumped and turned around to see frank. I wiped the tears that I didn't even realize where falling from the corners of my eyes.

He kneeled down next to me and held my hand.

"Is that supposed to be me?"

He pointed to the villain, I looked at him, this time we made eye contact. It made me cry more, I nodded my head slightly. I tugged my sleeves down and wiped my tears again.

But looking into his eyes, I couldn't help it. I started to cry hysterically. I don't think in all of my lifetime I have ever cried this dramatically or this much. What was wrong with me? What did I ever do for him to just leave me like that. Why would he leave? Was I really crazy? Oh god I am crazy. I'm insane I-

"Gee I'm so sorry." He said, he sounded sincere 

"I missed you...."

"I-"

"So fucking much."

He pulled me in for a hug. I hugged him back immediately.

Something that really fucked with my head was that right before he left I told him I loved him and all he did was walk out of the door.

He left me.

"I love you gee"

"I-i-i l-love you too"

He wiped my tears away and took my hand, he led me to the kitchen where he sat me down on his lap and wrapped his arms around my waist.

"I'm really sorry gee. I think I'll be alright now, well, alright enough to know how selfish that just sounded and to focus on you more than focusing on me. So, what's wrong, how are you feeling. Don't sugarcoat it".

I closed my eyes. My head was pounding for all the crying I've  done. I inhaled and exhaled slowly, very slowly.

"I wouldn't mind being dead right now."

He grabbed my hand and squeezed it tightly.

What he said I shouldn't sugarcoat it, so I didn't.

"Did I make you feel like that?"

I shook my head. It wasn't him. I was a grown man, I can tell how my own conscience was making my head hurt and making me want to die but he may have encouraged those thoughts.

"Not necessarily. I'll be okay"

"Fuck that gee. Listen to me-"

He went up to my ear and whispered;

"It's okay to not be okay."

I took a breath and stood up from his lap. I walked towards the couch and turned the television on.

By the time he sat next to me I was already passed out from how heavy my eyes felt.