XO- gee

XO- seven

I laid down next to frank. He seemed distant. Ever since I took him to work that one day he hasn't talked a lot, we haven't had sex and hell- he hasn't even kissed me.

"Frank"

He looked over at me and smiled.

"Faking your smiles now are you?" I scoffed.

"N-no I-"

I sighed loudly and slouched down. It's only been a week, he should be fine by now.

When I watched my mother kill someone for the first time I was scared for maybe three days but then it was back to normal.

She enjoyed killing people. She mainly enjoyed torturing them but she loved it when their breathing finally just stoped. I used to find it disgusting but when I took my first life I realized how satisfying it is.

The amount of power I have. It's like, I can't even describe. The fact that they are willing to do whatever i want gives me some sort of rush, an adrenaline rush or something.

But frank doesn't understand that, yet.

I turned my lamp off. I went to turn over and go to sleep but frank mumbled something.

"Hm?" I asked

"I-I'm sorry"

"It's okay frank"

He seemed sad about being distant. I appreciate the apology, he'd have to fuck me out of this world for me to forgive him- nah that's a lie, I'd forgive him anyway because I love him.

Yeah.

I love him. I'm in love with him. Everything about him. The fact that he stayed with me through all those years. The way he treated me like an angel. He spoiled me, he cared for me, he entertains me...

His smile, his heart his everything. I love him.

I'd forgive him.

-

I woke up and hopped out of bed, frank was still sleeping so I decided to cook him something for breakfast in hopes that it would maybe change his mood a bit before he woke up.

I took the eggs out of the fridge but I stopped when I remembered he was a vegetarian. I scoffed and pulled out some homemade donuts he had made the other day and heated it up in the microwave.

I heard his footsteps and I turned around. He looked sad or mad- I couldn't quite place my finger on the feeling that laid upon his face.

"Good morning" I said

"Morning"

He spoke with no emotion. Maybe he just needed coffee.

I poured him a cup and set it in front of him, I poured myself a cup too and sat down at the table with him.

"What's going on?"

"Tired" he said.

I scoffed and I sipped my coffee.

Might as well be straight forward with him.

"Frank you know you can talk to me. We gotta work things out because well, I'm not sure if you can tell but something's wrong here"

I spoke in a calm tone. I let my hand fall onto his and the second we made skin to skin contact he flinched and retracted his hand away from mine.

"I just- I don't know if I can-"

"Frankie if this is about the whole love thing...I've realized I do love you. You...you treat me like a normal human being and you-"

His eyes widened. What was I doing wrong?? I was being calm and-

"Gerard! You're insane! Actually mentally insane! You fucking i-i don't even have w-words."

He was looking around the room frantically. He wouldn't make eye contact with me no matter how hard I stared into his eyes.

His nostrils kept flaring and his fists stayed clenched, his body was tense.

I sighed.

"you're scared of me...aren't you?"

He closed his eyes, then squeezed them tightly. He inhaled sharply and stood up.

"I'm gonna go clear my head" he said.

"Okay" I spoke as I nodded and then watched as he left.

I didn't understand why he was being so serious about this. It's what I do for a living and I honestly thought he was alright with it.

He was perfectly fine with the drugs and the beating up people and all that stuff but the second he sees me in 'murder mode' he gets scared of me- scared is an understatement...I could see in his eyes he was terrified of me.

It seemed if I looked into his eyes I could destroy his whole life. Honestly if I wanted to kill him I would have done it by now. But the way he would be scared to even make eye contact with me, or hold my hand. Or anything.

It scared me probably more than I scared him.

I wasn't scary, was I? What was I doing wrong? I was raised like this. All I knew where drugs, money, death.

I sighed again, I decided to pull out my old sketchbook and pencils. I started to draw the most random things.

I drew whatever came into my mind. I had this image of a lady, she was...beautiful. But she wasn't. She wasn't a real person, she was a robot. A porn bot to be specific.

She had an emotionless expression on her face. Although if you looked close enough you could see the desperation for help in her eyes.

I'll call her blue.