take what you want and go -fack

seventeen

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reminder:listen to the song

jacks pov

we arrived to his house. finns house. we got out of the car and he turned around to face me.

"follow me." he said and extend his hand so i could grab it. i just looked at his hand and walked passed it.

he opened the door and i stepped in first. my heart almost stopped. there was pictures of us from 2 years ago. there was stuff i gave him as gifts.

"you kept a-all of this?" i asked him. he was looking at the ground.

"yes."

"why would you keep this? i thought you regretted meeting me. i thought you hated me" i said . i didn't understand any of this. why would he keep this stuff?

"because i lied jack. i lied about everything. i did love you. okay? i lied to you. i didn't mean any of that stuff. i was just angry with myself because i didn't have the guts to come out. truth is i-i love you jack." i just stood there. i couldn't process this.

"bullshit." i finally said.

"what?"

"this is all bullshit. i've been sad for the past 2 years because of something you did that turns out to be a huge fucking lie? bullshit finn. i d-dont believe you." half of me felt bad but at the same time that dick deserved it.

"you have no idea how i feel every fucking morning waking up knowing i hurt you. it hurts. and i hate myself for doing that. now i understand if you hate me and you won't want me back into your life, but like i said, i hate waking up knowing i hurt you so i'm begging you,take want you want and go."

i turned around to see him. at this point i was so close to breaking.

" why do you want me to take something." i said pointing at all the stuff around us. looking at the stuff made me remember the time we were a thing. " why didn't you just throw everything away?"

"you see jack i could easily throw all the pictures and gifts away but if i do that, i won't stop thinking about you or i won't stop hating myself. you won't be fully out of my life. i want to see you take this stuff and use that door." if he only knew i felt the same way.

" so please jack take anything. no matter how much this will hurt i want you out of my life. i hate myself for what i did. i truly do. please just take anything." tears were falling of his face and i just stood there. i felt like at any time i would start crying too.

but now i didn't know what to do. should i stay and fix things with him? or leave?