Damned If I Do *Matt Murdock* (book one of Damned)

15) What if love is a feeling (...to believe in?)

They didn't leave the gym before midnight, making up for the lost time. When Vera was around him again, she couldn't keep her hands and lips off him. She never realized she missed his touch that much. Matt apparently didn't mind and she tried really hard to avoid all places where he might be injured. If she failed, he wouldn't say a word about it.

Terri didn't call her to demand her home arrival report and Vera had a hunch she had in fact arranged their meeting. Vera would have to thank her later. Her friend was a bad influence though. Vera would never ask the question if Terri didn't ask her the same.

"Matt?" she whispered, while he kept playing with her fingers in his lap. They were now sitting, sides attached, backs leaning onto the lower part of the ring. Her head rested on his shoulder and he rested his against hers, placing light kisses in her hair occasionally.

"Hm?"

Vera had no idea how to say it out loud. It seemed like a ridiculous thing to ask, but the image of him, lying bloody in a dark alley without help, didn't leave her mind. What if no one found him? She would learn about his death from the paper. She hated the idea.

His hand stopped its action and he shifted slightly, so he could face her rather than sitting at her side. "Vera? What is it?"

She sighed. "Just... don't laugh, okay?"

His eyebrow shot up, his expression curious. "I can try." He made an awkward pause. "I promise, I won't," he corrected himself.

Now or never... "Wouldyoupleaseletmeknoweverytimeyougethomefrompatrol?" Vera blurted out in a speed she didn't even know she could achieve. Not when speaking English.

Matt looked confused. "Sorry, what?" He leaned closer as if it could help him to understand her words better. She was pretty sure it wouldn't help, because it had nothing to with his hearing. She swallowed and took a deep breath before speaking again.

"Sorry. Would you... would you please let me know every time you get home from patrol? Or whatever you call it." He blinked furiously, pure surprise appearing on his face. Vera felt like an idiot. Again. "It's stupid, I know. Mostly, I would be probably sleeping by that time, but if I wake up in the middle of the night or in the morning, finding a proof you're okay, I would be much calmer. Matt, I... if Terri wouldn't find you... you could have been dead. And I wouldn't even know. I would go to work, I would continue my life for what could be days before realizing I haven't heard from you for too long. It's not like we meet every day or text or call. I would... I might found out about you dying from the gossipers coming to the café. Or from newspapers."

Yep, she told him everything. She suspected that he could not just smell lies, but also was able to make people tell him the whole truth. Like every single thing that had ever crossed their mind.

She examined him as he tilted his head in a familiar gesture. Matt had a wrinkle between his eyebrows, eyes more distant than most of the time – he was lost in his own thoughts. She waited for his response with her heart hammering and felt like she was asking him to chain a ball to his ankle. She probably looked like a nag. Great. She supressed a groan and it physically hurt her not to face-palm.

"Okay," he agreed in a quiet voice and his sightless eyes were watching her thoughtfully.

"Really?" Vera was more than surprised. And pleased he would do it for her. She herself kinda hated assuring Terri she was okay all the time.

A hint of a smile appeared on his lips as he took her face in his hand, stroking her cheek lightly. "Yes. If you want me to. Not the burner phone though. I had to delete your number."