Pre Feels, Post Feels And Raw Emotion

Soon

September 26, 2017
The date I confessed
September 27, 2016
The date when I was supposed to have a serious conversation
September 28, 2017
The date where I had felt my love turn into sorrow and regret

I'll tell him that I love him
Soon
I told myself constantly that one word
"Soon"

I got so caught up in my life to see what was in front of me, who was in front of me.
He was the one who would pick me up when I fell to pieces
He was the one who would always bless me after my fit of sneezes
He was the one who had been there all along and I was too blind to see

I'll tell him that I love him
Soon
I told myself constantly that one word
"Soon"

I look at my grade 10 year book and always flip to three pages
39, 94 and 107
The only three pages that mattered to me
39, 94 and 107
I don't care about the rest but those three damn pages
39, 94 and 107
They get me EVERY SINGLE TIME!

I'll tell him that I love him
Soon
I told myself constantly that one word
"Soon"

I hid
I cowered
I cried
Because I was scared, scared that he did not feel the same way about me.
Months of convincing
Saying I was doing the right thing
Months of convincing
It was okay that he found someone
Months of convincing
And that lead me to the same feelings

I'll tell him that I love him
Soon
I told myself constantly that one word
"Soon"

He is my rock, my comfort
And when he spoke
I realized I should have confessed
Soon
Sooner than my later

I'll tell him that I love him
Soon
I told myself constantly that one word
"Soon"

12am, on September 29, 2017
I sit crying
In my room
Alone
Flipping between pages
39, 94 and 107
Crying out the word
"Soon"
In the agony others call love

I'll tell him that I love him
Soon
I told myself constantly that one word
"Soon"

I did tell him that I love him but my soon was too late.