Psychopath [solangelo au]

-How to accept-

November 23rd, 2017

School was so physically and emotionally draining, I felt like if I blinked I would instantly fall asleep.
I bumped into people in the halls, tripped over my feet more than 3 times and probably looked high, stumbling around and falling all over myself. I made it outside, yawning widely.
I was going to take a nap before Jenny's so that I wouldn't fall asleep. I kept doing that when we had a session and I could tell she was worried. Why would I sleep in her office when I could at home- unless I didn't feel comfortable enough at home. She was probably worried and pissed at the same time. Not a good mix when it comes to Jenny.
As for the Will thing, I didn't like not having him to talk to, it was beginning to be torturous. I hated it and I just wanted to hang out with him again. I missed him. And so what if he's gay... I never knew and he was normal. I just still- I don't know. I know that it's not bad but it didn't explain why I kind of feel.. different, around anyone gay. I feel like I'm more aware, more afraid and uneasy around them.

I was staring off into space and on the verge of dissociation so that I couldn't see, and I couldn't hear properly.
I was on the edge of drifting off into sleep while I was walking until a loud honk from next to me made me jump two feet into the air in surprise. I recovered and raced out of the middle of the road that I wandered on to. I had almost got hit by a red mini van. The man inside flipped me off, making me flop my head into my hands in embarrassment and rub my eyes.
I could've just died, right then and there. If the driver didn't see me, I would've been hit and it would be over. Everything.

I stood at the road's curb for a couple minutes to wake myself up and figure out where I had gotten to, when someone shouted.
I looked across the street where people were crossing, to see Caleb and two of his unbearable friends stalking towards me. They had death glares on all of their faces. I started to back away when they started moving faster, passing the stop sign I was just resting by. They started to sprint down the sidewalk behind me. Caleb shouted again. I looked back and saw them chasing me, running fast- faster than me- even though they all wore heavy backpacks, weighing them down.
My jacket was unzipped, leaving it flying around me as I sprinted down the busy sidewalk.
I got to a loud crowd and started to shove myself through it, hoping since I was small I could get a head start.
I muttered apologies to all of the people I shoved by or stepped on, and tried not to think about the hundreds of people's glaring eyes, judging me. Assuming me to be another one of those rude teenagers.
I pushed and forced myself through, the cold, early winter air biting at my skin. The sky was slate grey and hard. It seemed to be laughing at my predicament, laughing at me running for my life.

You don't deserve it

I stopped dead in my tracks, tears building in my eyes. Of course Bianca would just want to jump on top of this mess. Because it had to be one problem after another- no break for Nico Di Angelo.
I looked backwards again and saw the three, 6 foot tall boys plowing towards me, about to arrive at the crowd I was only three quarters through.
I started to shove by the rest of the people. I made it out, gasping for breath and making myself push down tears. I hadn't cried in a long time (which I've been told is 'bad for me') but if I did, I wouldn't stop. Jenny would find out, and she would know I was lying about feeling better. I know I was supposed to tell her everything, as she was my therapist, but I didn't want to let her down. She was so happy when she saw me improving, and I couldn't ruin that. I wouldn't ruin it. So I wouldn't cry.
I was sprinting again, pushing past the pain in my ribs. I muttered curse words under my breath, trying to fight from stopping and collapsing, or throwing up, or passing out. I was a block from the foster home, and if I could get a tiny bit more ahead of them, they wouldn't know where it was.
My cramp was deadly, but I kept going, and before turning the corner, I looked back at them for the last time and saw them break through the crowd.
I slipped by the corner and raced home, not caring about any of the people I swerved by and may have nudged.
I was so close, and turned down my road, away from them by now. I couldn't afford to stop.
I sped past Tobin and Emerys house, and to my home. I burst through the door and ended up on the floor.