Psychopath [solangelo au]

-How to love-

May 29, 2018

"What do mean worse? Like grade 10 worse? You're not back into drugs are you?" Jenny asked worriedly.

"No! No geez Jenny I'm not doing drugs again," I sighed and rubbed my fingers through my hair, wincing. I pulled my hand down and looked at my fingers, seeing each one bloody and chewed at. They were all sensitive after I bit at them all last night,
"I don't know, I'm just I don't know-"

"Think about what you're going to say Nico," she soothed, calming my nerves slightly.
I compiled my thoughts into a sentence and took a deep breath, starting again,

"I'm not sleeping, and I can't eat, and Bianca and other voices will not go away no matter what I do," I yawned and rubbed my eyes, and then continued, if not a bit more desperate,
"I had a panic attack yesterday at lunch for no good reason at all and threw up in the school bathroom, i can't stomach anything. I'm so stressed out that I can't make myself study for my classes and upcoming exams, and my hair is falling out. I didn't even know that was a thing! And then I fell asleep when I got home and had a nightmare again and woke up and had another panic attack and it's like everything is piling on top and now that Caleb got expelled I'm my own worst enemy and I can't even think anymore." I took a deep breath after my rant. Jenny tried to keep a professional face but I could feel how upset this made her because for some reason nothing she did was helping me. Her son- in a way.

"That's not good Nico," she grabbed her notebook but then set it back down again.
"I've been doing some reading and I think we should take a look at all of this from a different perspective, try something that isn't prescribing new drugs because they aren't working."

"What do you mean Jenny?" I rubbed my eyes again as my phone dinged in my bag. I started digging to find it.

"Well I did this with Will when he was bad because his mom, who you've met, is against the medications and stuff so we took the natural way with many vitamins and supplements and essential oils and stuff and eventually it worked, or he just got better," she said tapping her chin. A strand of hair fell in front of her eyes.
"And we haven't tried that with you yet, so maybe we could test it, it's worth a shot right?"

I finally found my phone and saw it was a text from Will,

"Yea I guess we can try," I replied as I opened my messages.
I squinted to focus, and read the text that made my heart sink,

Will; hey Neeks I'm so sorry I can't make it to café today, I had to cover a shift for someone who just called in sick
Will; can we do it tomorrow maybe when schools done? Meet me there?

I sighed but didn't let it get to me, bringing my nails to my teeth one more. Jenny had grabbed her notebook and was scribbling something down,

Nico; it's ok it's not your fault, I'll see you tomorrow

I checked the time, seeing I only really had 10 minutes left, and then glanced at Jenny expectantly.

"So I was thinking we could get these tablets that would help calm you down during a panic attack that seemed to work- though they taste horrible- and then there's supplements for sleep but they don't really work when it's full blown insomnia... we can start with those and then go on from there. With your medication now and this it should make things a bit better," she explained.
"I'll pick up all the stuff after I'm done work, sound good?"

I yawned, my jaw stretching widely, and nodded.

"Is there anything else you wanna talk about before you have to go? School? Will?" She prodded because of how unresponsive I was.
I shrugged but then I remembered my date with Will,