Psychopath [solangelo au]

-How to speak-

April 5, 2018

I wish I met Camilla earlier. Appreciated her earlier as well. When I first met her I hated her, and I wasted so much time ignoring her, but if I just got to know her we may be even closer than we are now.
I look back at the beginning of grade 12 and cringe. I was so close minded, and didn't even try to make myself feel better, I just wallowed in my own despair.
I still lived in the foster home, thought anyone gay was weird, didn't want any friends and just kind of... existed. I hadn't done anything with my life.
Now I have a boyfriend, who or may not love me, a best friend who has cancelled plans to be with me, parents who do love me and are here for me, and I'm getting moderate grades. Everything in my life is steady, stable and calm, which takes a lot of stress. Now I just had to work on losing my crippling anxiety and depression, and try and figure out a way to push the voices away forever.

Back to Camilla though, she was supposed to be doing some weird thing to figure out why Madison was trying to be friends with her, which still confused her. I'm pretty sure she just kept asking to go to lunch and she was getting annoyed with it. As soon as I texted her asking if we could go to lunch she dropped her plans. She texted me and asked if I was ok, she was checking up on me, probably because my text to ask to go to lunch was 'can we please go to lunch, I know you have plans but I want to see you'. I told her how I was wanting to back to other stuff because if I could trust anyone with that type of information it would be her.
Let's just say I didn't know she could be so motherly, it wasn't like her.
We talked for a long time Sunday night.
The next day we went to lunch and talked more, if that was possible. She hugged me and when she could tell I was done talking, she dropped t and asked about Will.
Another thing Camilla was great at; talking.
She could change a conversation with a snap of her fingers, keep one going with someone who was timid, always listened and gave an opinion.
Yes, she's loud, and her opinion may be strange, and she may be a little invasive but that's just how Camilla was.
I never used to care about anyone except Jenny, and now I'm all of a sudden getting mad when I hear people talk about Camilla, calling her a slut, whore and any other horrible word, when they're not joking or friends with her.
I've become protective of her.
Today was Thursday and we were out again. Yesterday we secretly watched Caleb and Madison go to lunch but not close enough to hear them.
Today we were walking to McDonald's, and I told her I was buying her whatever she wanted because I felt like showing her appreciation, but not saying it cause I don't know how to say things.

"So I don't know what to do about the bitch, she won't fucking leave me alone and I'm getting really annoyed now, why on earth did this even start?" Camilla complained for the millionth time. I didn't care though, I like knowing stuff. 

"Who knows Camilla, maybe she's telling the truth? Maybe she misses you?" I tried, almost to the top of the line. She shook her head, eyebrows furrowed.

"No, she's an evil deceiving bitch, no doubt about it," she nodded like she agreed with herself.

"Well maybe you can fake it and figure out what she's doing? Like you were going to do?"

"Maybe," her eyes lightened in a fake, public manners way,
"Hello, can I please get a Big Mac, fries and a coke?" She asked the cashier. He nodded and looked at me.

"I'll just have fries, thanks," I told him, earning glare from Camilla.
The man nodded and I payed. Camilla and I went to wait and she turned to me.

"Nico, Will and I have talked, he wants me to make sure you eat during the day," she said and I frowned.

"Why are you talking to Will- wait, how do you even have his number?" I asked incredulously. I ruffled my hair to get it out of my face. She took her phone out and opened snap chat. A ton of people may hate her but she still had over 200 people on snap. Popular.