white lies, sterek au [TEEN WOLF, DISCONTINUED]

• Chapter Six •

>my ghost, where'd you go?
What happened to the soul you used to be?<
|Ghost, Halsey|

Stiles

It wasn't until I saw the first graves passing in front of us, that I realized we were already in the cemetery. Derek was driving quietly next to me, his eyes focused on the road and his hands clenched around the steering wheel so tight; I thought he was going to break it. He seems tense, nervous.

"Why are you being nervous?" I asked, staring at him with big innocent eyes. He took a glance at me before returning his attention on the road in front of him again.

"I'm not." he simply answered, and let loose of the steering wheel a bit.

"Okay, then." I murmured, turning my head outside the car's window. The place was so gloomy; foggy and sad.

"We're here.", Derek said as he parked the Camaro outside of the gate. I read the large and grey sign, 'Beacon Hills Cemetery', and walked outside with slow and steady footsteps. Derek locked the car and came beside me, walking at the same pace. We reached the grave a little after, both of us staring at it from a distance of not-more than three feet.

It felt as if my knees couldn't hold me any longer. My breathing became heavier and my heart started beating so fast; like a time bomb. My hands got shaky, not able to sit at one place. I kneeled onto the ground, Derek immediately following me and placing a hand on my shoulders.

"Hi, dad." I manage to choke out but regret instantly since my voice sounds like it's been slaughtered with knives. He doesn't deserve to hear me like this.

"I came to see you alone, I couldn't talk to you properly with all those people around." I continue to talk on my own, letting a sigh as I remember that he couldn't stand polycosmy either.

"So, um... how're you doing? I mean, how..." I stopped talking when I felt the lump in my throat growing stronger. My breath was nowhere to be found, tears covering my cheeks and jawline. I started inhaling, trying to find some air to breathe, but it felt as if everything around me was running out of oxygen. It's like when you're drowning, you feel as if your head is about to explode, but you don't want the air to come in, 'cause it will be devastating. The only difference now; I want to breathe but I can't.

The least amount of tears became a large flow, like a crystal-clear river running on my cheeks.

"Do you remember when..." I whispered between my uncontrollable sobs.

"When mom died. How you told me that you'd always be here?" I said, choking on my own tears.

"I'll always be here, kiddo."

"That, whenever I needed you, I could come to you and just talk? About anything?" I whispered again, grabbing on my own hair like a maniac.

"Whenever you need me, you can come and we can just talk... About anything."