Addicted

Chapter 7: Earn it

Home is Camila's apartment, and Lauren kind of likes that.

It's familiar and warm and the minute they walk in everything falls from Lauren's shoulders. Camila takes her jacket for her with a smile, like every other time, and she wordlessly puts the kettle on. Humming to Lauren from the kitchen if she wants coffee or tea.

Lauren bites her lip, sitting on the couch. So many thoughts are running through her head, so many that she can't pinpoint what she wants to say. It doesn't make sense, it shouldn't make sense, but after all that happened all Lauren wants is for Camila to tell her she's okay. Look after her. Put her in her place. Tell her she isn't disgusting and that she's good in every sense of the word.

She wants it, so bad, she just doesn't know how to ask for it.

When the younger woman doesn't answer, Camila frowns, walking to the living room where Lauren sits. She takes in her worried lip, her fidgety hands, how quiet she is. Camila's face softens, and she wordlessly walks over and sits next to the other woman. Tucking a piece of hair behind Lauren's ear and kissing just below her jaw softly, making Lauren close her eyes with a hum.

"You wanna talk about it?"

Lauren breathes in, shakily, softly shaking her head no. And Camila notices with a start that there's tears in her eyes.

"Hey hey, it's okay. We don't have to talk about it" Lauren sends her a relieved look, and as Camila smiles reassuringly to her, getting up as she goes to make their warm drinks, Lauren's desperate voice suddenly calls out. Reaching out a hand and grabbing to Camila's wrist.

"Camz, wait I-"

Camila looks down to Lauren's hand, how pleading her eyes look, and she immediately sits down again. Pulling Lauren into her arms and shushing her, letting her melt against her chest and nuzzle into her neck. Her heart is breaking for the other woman, how she seems at a loss for words. How she looks in a daze, shaky and lost.

"Lauren? It's okay. I'm here"

Camila feels Lauren breathe in, hold tighter to her, and mumble something into her neck that Camila can't quite catch. It makes her chuckle slightly, Lauren can be such a puppy sometimes. 

"Lo? Can you repeat that baby?"

Lauren pulls back slightly, looking down shyly, worrying her bottom lip. The name has her melting against Camila, coaxing the words out of her. "I don't know how to ask for it"

Camila frowns slightly, confused, but realisation comes over her face when she realises what Lauren means.

And god, how could she miss this? In all their communication and talking, when they first tried this, why didn't Camila let Lauren know it was okay to come to her when she needed it? When Lauren needed their dynamic? That it was okay to ask her Mistress these things? It makes Camila chastise herself, and although they haven't made themselves official, it honestly makes Camila feel like the worst sort-of-girlfriend and dom.

"Baby, oh my god, I'm so sorry" Lauren looks up to her, her eyebrows furrowed, and Camila elaborates with an apologetic look on her face. "I never said that you could come to me, that it's okay if you want it. It's all well and good me initiating it, but there's nothing wrong with you wanting too as well"

Lauren smiles softly, closing her eyes with how Camila runs her fingers through her thick hair. Lovingly. And all her worries just melt away.

"Although I'm your Mistress, we're equals Laur. Okay babygirl?"