Addicted

Chapter 21: Healing

A/N i know i know, me? posting a chap after an entire month?? yes and im so sorry about that sdjs its been a hectic month and writing was becoming such a chore for me, with so many fics out i think i was overwhelming myself and writers block was my bestfriend apparently. but im back! and refreshed as ever and i just hope you all enjoy this chap :-) (ps, promise the next one will be more smutty and a lil longer ;)

and im hoping to update my other fics too this week! xx

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Camila takes a whole week off of work. Lilly is safe, in foster care, and that eases Camila's mind so much she can sigh in relief. She doesn't take the week off for Lilly though, or to look after herself and forget the memories that won't leave her head.

She takes it off for Lauren.

The next morning, Camila wakes up before her girlfriend, slowly and softly. When she opens her eyes, squinting at the morning light, it seems to rush back to her; it hits Camila like a freight train as she faces Lauren's back. Arm slung over her body softly from behind.

They're both naked now, losing clothes for comfort during the night. So with the morning sun filtering through, lighting up the darkened room, Camila watches the light fall down Lauren's shoulders, then her shoulder blades, her spine, the locks of her hair, her-

Camila stops short, tears prickling her eyes and her hand coming up shakily to her lovers skin.

The marks, they're so raw still. And it hits Camila, so hard she shakes, what she did to Lauren.

And when her finger tip traces lightly on a welt just below Lauren's shoulder blade, so lightly she barely touches Lauren's skin, the other girl stirs, waking up at the soft feeling of Camila's touch.

"Camila?"

Camila shuts her eyes, quickly wiping under them to rid of tears as Lauren turns over. Her girlfriend winces, the lashes across her back stinging as she moves closer to Camila.

"D-Don't."

At the older woman's firm cracking voice, Lauren stops short of reaching out to cuddle closer to her, frowning slightly as the bed sheets tangle between their legs. Camila is looking down, gripping the covers between her fingers. And Lauren, with a worried frown, notices how her girlfriend has tears in her eyes.

"Camz? Camz talk to me, it's okay I-"

"No! No, Lauren it's not okay."

At her outburst, at how Camila is crying now as she speaks, Lauren can't help herself, she flinches.

And that, that almost breaks Camila's heart in two. She's trying to steady her voice, but god she hates herself so much and Lauren looks small and scared and hurt and fuck, this is all her fault. Camila's voice comes out broken, she sits up and places her face in her hands, squeezing her eyes shut.

"I hurt you baby, something I promised myself I'd never do. You...you trusted me and I let you down and fucking whipped you so hard I broke skin and-"

Camila's then stopped by Lauren's voice, hushing her softly, she can feel her girlfriend's body so close to her. So warm and soft and beautiful and Camila doesn't deserve to be this near, to have Lauren's fingers now moving her hair out of her face, her lips at her jaw.

"Camz? Listen to me. Can you please listen to me?"

Camila's shoulders lose their tension lightly when Lauren starts talking softly, nodding in answer to the younger woman's question. Lauren takes her hand in hers, and tilts Camila's chin up, connecting their eyes and her thumb rubbing softly in circles on Camila's palm.