Addicted

Chapter 20: Red

A/N whew, okay, this chapter is intense. warning: it gets pretty heavy, so if you're sensitive to abuse/flashbacks this is ur warning!

anyways sorry for late updates :( im trying!!! also thank u sm for 50K reads??? my mind?? blown. i love every single one of u who comment and vote and wow :') i just am so grateful. 

i hope u all enjoy!! xxx

-

 It takes Camila another two days to fully open up to Lauren.

She takes some days off work, using her sick leave. Both from Lilly having school and not being able to come in for more interviews, and also Lauren mumbling sleepily one night as Camila spooned her to "take a couple of days off Camz, you need it. I can feel your anxiety from here babe."

Camila simply sighed, kissed the back of Lauren's neck and tightened her hold around her. She's hasn't been able to sleep properly, her thoughts run a mile a minute inside of her brain, but Lauren will smile at her or straddle her and kiss her and for a moment everything falls away. The case. Her past. Her bad thoughts. All disappearing for a moment.

"I can't princess, they need me to be there to run things smoothly and file the reports and-"

Lauren turned in her embrace, kissing Camila softly to stop her ramblings, cupping her girlfriend's cheek and watching the confused little frown appear on the older woman's face.

"Camz, I know you're used to being the strong, 'nothing affects me' person in this relationship, but you really need to take some time off, okay? I'm-" Lauren sighs, burying her face into Camila's neck and mumbling against her skin, making the older woman's expression soften as she holds Lauren closer to her body.

"I worry about you. And I know you can't tell me much about the case for legal reasons, but I just, don't want it to hurt you."

Lauren's voice has turned soft, cracking slightly in places. And Camila mutters a small "Oh baby..." as she trails her hand up and down Lauren's spine, their bodies warm and close and inseparable.

"I'm sorry Lo, if I knew I was worrying you this much I would have taken a break sooner."

Lauren sighs, readjusting her face against Camila's chest, closing her eyes. "No, no it's okay. Your work is important, just, please take it easy? If not for yourself Camz, then for me?"

Camila turns so she's lying facing Lauren, smiling softly at her girlfriend and smoothing her thumb over Lauren's cheek, kissing her deeply and murmuring against her lips; making the other girl melt. Lauren's eyes look like galaxies as she pulls back, Camila thinks. Infinite and beautiful and gorgeous.

"I promise baby girl, anything for you."

Sometimes it scares Camila how much she means that, sometimes, if not all the time, Camila will realise that'd she'd truly go to the ends of the earth for Lauren.

And that's scary.

(Because she's never loved anyone like she loves Lauren.)

-

The next night, Camila stays in from work and watches Lauren paint and write music in their spare room.

She's so beautiful like that, in her element, humming and frowning as she touches up words and verses on her notepad sitting cross legged on the floor, biting her lip as she taps her paintbrush to her chin. Camila loves how multitasking Lauren is the most adorable thing in the universe. She's surrounded by pain cans, sitting on a tarp in one of Camila's oversized button up shirts.