The Day I Stopped Hating Myself

Chapter 2 - The Metro Conversation

The next morning before class, I awkwardly hang out in the school courtyard before spotting Lisa and Stella sitting on a bench and talking. I hesitate before approaching them. They kind of are my only friends here, but I don't want to seem too clingy.

However, when they see me and wave me over to their bench, I decide to make my way over there.

Since the... incident, I have quickly figured out that I shouldn't stay alone. In the beginning, while I was at the clinic, the therapists simply didn't leave me alone – and now that I finally got out, I still prefer the presence of people to solitude.

Solitude leads to thinking, thinking leads to remembering, and I really don't want to remember.

When I join them, Stella and Lisa make small talk with me for a while until they start telling me about something hilarious Scott did a couple of weeks ago.

At the mention of Scott, Stella gives Lisa a meaningful look, to which she sighs. "What?"

"Don't you think we should ask her?"

"I don't think we should ask anyone at all, but if you're so keen on doing it..." Lisa rolls her eyes.

I frown. Why do I never get what these people are talking about? "What's up, guys?"

Stella looks at me, a sly grin on her face. "Roxane, if I told you that Lisa is in love with Scott, would you believe me?"

Hesitantly, I glance at Lisa. The expression on her face is unreadable. I want to answer truthfully, but I also don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. I feel like these two are playing a game with me I don't know the rules of. "Yes. Yes, I would believe that."

At this, Stella squeals and triumphantly looks at Lisa. "See?! I told you! Everyone noticed! Even the freaking newbie noticed!"

I don't appreciate her calling me the "freaking newbie", and other than that, I still don't understand what this conversation is about. Lisa just scowls and crosses her arms.

Stella must have seen the confused look on my face, because she explains: "Lisa is in love with Scott, but she won't admit it even though it's o-b-v-i-o-u-s."

"What's obvious?"

I turn around to see Sam standing next to me, taking my breath away yet another time. He's wearing an oversized, dark green sweatshirt and ripped black jeans.

As always, he's looking at me. "Hello, Roxy."

"Hello, Sammy," I immediately shoot back, making him laugh.

Lisa ignores that little exchange of ours and angrily huffs: "It's not obvious. And stop saying "in love". I don't even like him –romantically, I mean- , so don't you dare talking about love."

"Is that why you're blushing?" Sam asks coolly.

His friend opens her mouths and shuts it right away when she realizes she doesn't really have a comeback for that.

"Aren't you cold, only in your hoodie?" I look at Sam. I don't actually care about him being cold or not; -he can do whatever he wants- I just want to talk to him.

Somehow, he doesn't seem surprised I'm asking this. "I have a high cold tolerance, Roxy."

"Is that even a thing?" I decide to let the "Roxy" slide for once.

"Everything can be a 'thing'-" he quotes with his fingers as he says those words, showing me that he's mocking me, -"if you want it to be."

Neither Lisa nor Stella seem to have noticed our conversation, or maybe they simply don't care.