The Day I Stopped Hating Myself

Chapter 8- The Phone Call

                   

The weekend passes by incredibly fast, which might be because it's the first sunny weekend in weeks. On Sunday, my mom and I go to picnic in a Parisian park and talk for hours. I've never felt this close to her in years.

On Monday morning, the sun is still shining and I'm whistling my way towards my friends. "Morning," I greet them, and I notice that Lisa is not standing here with us, signaling that she's still mad at us.

Sam smiles at me, giving me a fuzzy feeling in my stomach. "Hello, Roxy."

He looks as good as ever in a flannel and his signature black vans.

I think about the note he left me on my nightstand and I have to resist the urge to kiss him right here, in front of everyone. It's incredible how close I feel to him, how much I care about him, even though we haven't even kissed once.

"Where's Lisa?" I ask.

Scott shrugs while Stella is typing on her phone, purposely ignoring me. "She hasn't even shown up yet."

"Do you think she might not come at all today?"

Finally, Stella looks at me, scoffing. "Well, that would be overdramatic."

"What gives you the right to say that? Are you in her head? Do you know the pain she's feeling right now?" I say to Stella, coldly. I'm so sick of her. She hasn't apologized about how she treated me last Friday and I'm done with letting people walk all over me.

Sam smiles proudly at me, while Scott raises his eyebrows, surprised.

Stella's surprised, too. "No, but..."

"No buts." I cut her off. "We're ones that hurt her, now we need to accept that she's mad at us, however long that might be. You're not in her place, so don't judge her."

Baffled, Stella opens her mouth and then closes it without saying anything. "Roxane... we need to talk. Come with me."

Rolling my eyes, I let her lead me out of the boy's hearing range, expecting she's going to tell me to back down or remind me once again that she doesn't want to be my friend.

Which is why I'm even more surprised when instead of yelling at me, she apologizes. "I'm sorry, Roxane."

I freeze. "What?"

"I know I've been a bitch to you since ever you met the first time. It's nothing against you personally, it's just that I've always been bad at making friends. I used to be the outsider, and then Lisa found me and took me under her wing. We started being friends with Scott and Sam in the seconde, and the four of us have been inseparable ever since. I was so happy to finally have good friends, that when you came around, I was scared you'd take my place. You seemed so funny and confident and I felt like I could never compete with that."

"You thought I seemed funny and confident?" I can't believe my ears. Stella out of people was intimidated by me?

She awkwardly scratches her head. "Yeah. Anyways, I understand now that you never wanted to take my place, you just wanted to find some friends. You never tried flirt with Scott or sabotage my friendship, I was just salty because everyone liked you right away, especially Sam, while it took him a really long time to warm up to me."

I think about how caring Sam was towards Stella last Friday; it's hard to imagine that it hasn't always been like that.

"Thank you," I say to Stella. It must have been really difficult for her to tell me all those things; it would have been difficult for me too. "I appreciate it. And don't worry, we all make mistakes sometimes. So let's just forget about all of that and have a new start, as friends. Deal?"