hard times// eddie + richie // IT

the ambulance

have you ever had something really bad happen?
where it just sent shockwaves through your body, and you wanted to cry but you just couldn't, no tears would fall, you couldn't, you couldn't.
i heard it.
stan's body, hitting the water.
no cars on the bridge. just me.
my lungs felt like stones and i couldn't breathe. everything was quiet, there was sound, but it was all a blur.
stan was gone.
i felt sick, so sick.
richie's scream brought me from the blur.
"stan!" richie yelled, as he ran to the balcony. he stretched his body out as far as it would go, and craned his neck, as if he were going to find stan.
"stan!" he called, over and over.
sick, sick, sick.
i was frozen, and all i could do was watch as richie panicked. he came to me.
"i'm going into town for help! please stay and look for stan!" richie yelled, before taking off on his bike. i sat down against the concrete barrier, where stan had stood moments before.
i was alone, and i was so very sick.
a bird chirped from a distance away.
it's a sparrow. i thought.
stan taught me a lot about birds last summer.
stan, stan, stan.
a lump formed in my throat. stan wasn't dead. no, he was in richie's kitchen just two hours ago, eating a bagel.
gone, gone, gone.
i stood up and quickly undressed, leaving my clothes with my bike. i ran down across the bridge to the shoreline, where i waded in and started swimming to where i had seen stan land.
the lake was filling, filling with my tears. i paddled furiously, not caring that my lungs were close to collapse. 
a shoe. i saw it. the same dress shoes stan wore to an ice cream shop once.
an ankle, a knee, a torso.
two arms, a neck.
and a dead, doll-like face.
i grabbed stan under his arms and swam for the surface. i splashed out of the water, and paddled towards shore, being careful to keep stan's head above water.
found, found, found.
i dragged stan onto the beach and started to give him CPR.
i knew how to do so, because my mother made me take classes every summer. i was practically an expert.
i heard the sirens, but i never expected them to come. richie came first though, looking distressed.
"you found him?" richie asked, with the slightest break in his voice. i nodded my head. the sirens got louder and louder.
an ambulance had arrived. the lights hurt my eyes. there were so many people, who spoke so many words. the siren cut them off, though. i heard richie demand to be able to ride in the ambulance, but i only heard the doors shut. the siren got quieter, until it was a whisper.
then, it was gone.
i was staring at the space where the ambulance was, thinking about nothing in particular.
richie started to walk to the bridge, yet, i couldn't break my gaze with the space.
"eddie, let's go!" he called. my body wouldn't budge. not like i wanted to anyway. i heard richie walk up to me. he grabbed my shoulders.
"let's go!" he encouraged, like we were getting ready for a jolly old road trip. i looked at the ground.
"don't fucking touch me," i grumbled.
"what?" richie asked, the slightest hint of hurt in his voice. i turned to face him.
"i said don't fucking touch me, richie!" i yelled. i was unable to control my anger now.
"i don't know what the hell you and stan did today, but i sure hope it didn't drive him to kill himself!" i spat. richie paled.
"i-i-i was just-" and before he finished, he covered his eyes with his arm, mounted his bike, and rode off.
he didn't want me to see him cry. it serves him right. he probably hurt stan.
if richie is the reason stan die-jumped off of a bridge, than i hope richie gets hit by a fucking car.