I Never Meant To Fall

8. One In The Same

Bellamy:

Slowly the world around him came to his attention. He could hear the light patter of rainfall on metal. It told him he was in the dropship. He could hear breathing and could sense movement at his side.

He could feel pain. A lot of it. His face was stiff and when he lifted a hand it hurt to touch. No swelling though. The most pain was coming from his torso.

He remembered the blinding pain that had overcome him as Dax had stabbed him. He remembered it numbing with the adrenalin and shock. He remembered Clarke and it was Clarke he saw when he opened his heavy eyes.

She had her back to him, she was talking to a girl on the table beside his.

"How are you feeling?" Clarke was saying.

"Not great!" The girl replied and Clarke laughed gently, like any doctor might.

"Well good news is I don't think you have done any serious damage to your head. I recommend you remain here for the night but in the morning we can find you a tent and you will be discharged." Clarke said and the girl nodded.

"My radio!" She said abruptly and Bellamy's ears perked up.

"It's on the table, I haven't been able to work it." Clarke said. "What's your name?"

"Raven."

"Okay Raven, get some rest."

Raven started to protest but in seconds she was asleep. Bellamy went to prop himself up on his elbows but the movement irritated his wound and a groan of pain escaped his lips.

Clarke whirled round and for a moment they just stared. "I'm not dead yet. Don't look so dissapointed princess." Bellamy said eventually, smiling smugly and Clarke laughed shortly, her expression serious.

"You should stay lying down." She said hastily, as she moved foward and pushed him down by the shoulders. Bare shoulders. He didn't have a shirt on. Something about Clarke having removed his shirt was amusing to him and he chuckled.

"You know someone tried to kill you right?." Clarke said quietly, her tone serious and chilling and Bellamy nodded. It all came rushing back. Dax had snuck up on him, knocked the gun right out of his hands. Clarke had saved his life. "Do you know why he wanted you dead?" Clarke asked, removing the patch on his chest a little to check his wound.

"No idea. Think he's pissed off I'm in charge - ow." Bellamy winced as Clarke dabbed some alcohol onto the wound.

"We." Clarke said.

"What?"

"We are in charge." She said quietly and Bellamy nodded. It was true, they were working together in this. Bellamy watched her as she re-covered the wound. She looked troubled, her eyes sad and her hands trembling.

Bellamy put his hand over hers and she actually jumped, looking down to meet his gaze. "Clarke are you alright?"

She blinked at him a moment before pulling her hand away and stepping back.

"I...yes. I just- you should rest." She went as if to speak again, but quickly turned and was out of the dropship before Bellamy could stop her.

He fell back and sighed. He didn't understand that girl.

Everything seemed different after that. Clarke went about organising camp while Bellamy recovered and the girl from the dropship - Raven - she'd been cooped up with him, working on fixing the radio.

Bellamy was still anxious about the arrival of the Ark, Raven seemed smart and it was likely they'd be in contact with the ark soon - but his mind was elsewhere a lot of the time.

When he was able to start walking about, helping Clarke and the campers, he found that he was seeing her for the first time.

He could see the hard work she was putting in to build the camp, to raise the spirits of the others.

He could see the bruises on her collarbones and her bruised jaw, from where she had fought to save him. Him a worthless janitor.

He noticed her, taking deep breaths, wiping her forehead of sweat, and he saw her in the evenings, while he sat surrounded by companions - musing about his injuries mostly - he saw her sitting alone or retiring early to her tent.

He wanted to do something but she seemed to have drawn into herself, there was a wall up and anyway, they werent friends...she'd saved his life because that's what any good person would do. He didn't entertain such fantasies that she might actually care about him. Suddenly an irrational rage exploded, all sense clouding his mind.

She protected him like he was a little boy who couldn't help himself. She was mocking him and now she was trying to avoid the dirty working kid who isn't good enough for her attention. He knew it was foolish but he couldn't help it.

Bellamy, who was sat with his friends around the fire, suddenly stood up and stormed to Clarke's tent.

He didn't announce his presence, just stormed inside.

"Bellamy!" Clarke cried, whirling around as he burst in. Her hair was tied up messily, loose strands hanging about her face and she was just in pyjama shorts, her top tied up to expose her stomach which was showing the remains of a nasty bruise.

Bellamy paused, all anger fading away and Clarke reddened.

"What are you doing? You can't just storm into my tent!" She exclaimed hotly and Bellamy felt ridiculous.

"Am I not good enough for you?" The words didn't come out as a yell or an accusation as he had intended, but they came out weak, pathetic.

"What?" Clarke said quietly and now it was Bellamy's turn to flush.

"You ignore me at every turn and...I thought...I thought we were getting on you...you saved my life..." Bellamy glanced at the bruise and felt sick. That was his fault.

"Bellamy-"

"I'm tired of being looked at like I'm dirt, like I'm nothing." Bellamy said quietly and darkly because that's the way he imagined she was looking at him then. He didn't know because he couldn't meet her gaze. He wasn't even sure why he was telling her, or why he cared what she thought.

"Bellamy I don't think that." She said softly. "And I haven't spoken to you because I'm not quite sure how to act around you...or what to say."

Bellamy still couldn't look at her. He was thinking about all the horrid names he'd been called, how many times he had been teased for his dirty clothes and then for his shitty job. He thought about how he let his mother down, she'd worked so hard to make him a guard...he'd let his sister down.

"Bellamy you might think you are 'lower class' but you have proven yourself more worthy than anyone else on the ground! We're not on the Ark! There are no classes, no statuses. We're the same okay. I saved you, because I need you."

Bellamy looked up then. They were close and again he was struck by her beauty, her pale cheeks flushed and her blue eyes burning with a stunning ferocity.

"You're the only person I can count on. You're a dick most of the time, generally quite insufferable and really annoying but you and I, we're the same."

Bellamy felt a strange urge to pull her closer but he refrained and simply smiled.

"If it helps, I don't think you're a pretentious snob." Bellamy said quietly and Clarke laughed. "Not all the time anyway. Princess."

She punched him gently in the shoulder and laughed sweetly.

"Sorry I barged in." Bellamy added and Clarke shrugged.

"Don't worry, It's not like I'm half dressed or anything!" Clarke said and Bellamy quickly looked away, heat rushing to his face.

"Right yeah. I'm gonna go." He said, quickly turning.

"Goodnight Bellamy." Clarke said after him with a chuckle and he was glad to escape into the cool fresh air of the night.

He felt lighter. He couldn't explain what had just happened in that tent. He didn't really know what any of it meant but he felt amazing and that night he fell asleep thinking of her. And he would for several nights to come. He couldn't help it.