War of Hearts

Chapter 18: Love Him More

Alec rushed down the stairs before the door of the Institute closed behind him. It was a chilly evening and a light breeze disturbed the hair that Izzy had so carefully arranged. Alec was secretly grateful for Izzy helping him to get ready for his first date with Magnus. She even got him a new pair of dark jeans and a new blue t-shirt. Alec was really excited this was finally happening. He couldn't wait to spend more time with Magnus. So when he got a text from him saying 'Sorry, darling. Can't do tonight. Very tired.' Alec felt a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach. Was Magnus really tired, or was he getting cold feet? Now that he was safe again, and they could really be together was Magnus still interested in him? Maybe the thrill of wanting someone he couldn't have was the only thing that had gained Magnus's interest, and now that the barriers between them were gone Magnus had moved on.

Did Magnus really think he was going to back off now? Alec's need to find out what was going through Magnus's head was bigger than his insecurity, so after a few moments of hesitation he decided to see him despite the uninviting message.

Magnus poured himself another drink after pressing send on the text to Alec. He couldn't face talking to him with the weight of the secret on his shoulders. He still hadn't told anyone about the atrocities he had committed and the people he had killed during his time as Valentine's hostage, and he intended to keep it that way. No one else had to know. He had to live forever knowing what he had done, he couldn't bear people's judgment on top of it.

He had to find a way to distract himself, to stop him from thinking about Alec or his terrible deeds. He attempted to read a book, but to no avail. He caught his mind wandering back to Alec or the people he had murdered almost every other page, and every few minutes he would realise with a start that he had been staring out of the window for a whole 30 seconds, not taking any notice of the book that lay discarded in his lap. With a sigh he snapped it shut loudly and chucked it towards the bookcase, waving his hand and channeling his magic to make it slide neatly in between the surrounding books. However, instead of being put away neatly it fell to the floor with a loud thud. Magnus forgot about his lack of magic at least once an hour, and he cursed loudly at his forgetfulness. He walked across the room and shoved the book back into the bookshelf roughly, not taking notice if it was put away properly.

He walked to the balcony and looked down at the empty street beneath him, watching the occasional car roar past. Maybe he could stay here forever, loathing didn't feel like he deserved anyone's company. Even Ragnor was gone since he had gone home. Magnus assumed it was for the best. He didn't need anyone to share his misery with, especially not Alec. Magnus closed his eyes and let his head tilt back so it was facing the sky, breathing in the night air and he felt how much the pain and the guilt had exhausted him. And the nightmares... He was just replaying the nightmare that had woken him up last night when the doorbell pulled him back to reality.

Magnus turned around and stared at the door with intrigue. He had no idea who this could be. He was just going to ignore it, but after the fourth insistent ring he sighed and put down his drink. He opened the door to face a messy haired Alec, and every feeling of aversion to seeing Alec vanished instantly.

Alec didn't let Magnus's eyes escape his from the second he opened the door. He wanted Magnus to know he really wanted to be there. He admired Magnus's perplexed face for a second, then held up the take out bags he brought with him from the Ethiopian restaurant they were supposed to meet at.

"I brought food," he said and waited. Magnus blinked at him a few times before letting him in, not totally sure that Alec was actually there. Alec walked in, relieved, and let Magnus take his jacket. Without a word, Magnus took the food from him and tipped it onto two plates, which then he took to the living room. It didn't go unnoticed by Magnus that Alec had brought food from the Ethiopian restaurant where they would have gone to their first date. He was touched by the thoughtful gesture.