Chapter Four

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"Come on. Come up and visit! Please?" Delaney begs through FaceTime.

I scoff, looking away.

"Please?" She asks weakly. "I miss you, C."

"Del, you upped and left when I was in Arizona. I came back to all your things gone and a note to you telling me to try and understand. And now it's been a month, and you decide to call me?"

"I'm sorry." She says. "I love you, Casey. Will you please come and visit?"

"Didn't Travis have a roommate?" I decide to change the subject. The frowns.

"Yeah. He moved in with his brother...come on Casey, come visit! Travis agreed to help me buy your plane ticket. And you can see snow for the first time. It'll be fun! I promise!"

I look away, out my living room window.

"I'll pay for your hotel." She pleads. "Please?"

"Fine." I give in. "I'm off until December first. What are your Thanksgiving plans?"

"I think we're doing a thing with Travis and a few of his friends." She says. "I'm so fucking excited to have another pair of ovaries for a while! I'm surrounded by men!"

"Hey!" Travis yells in the background. "We're not that bad!"

She grunts in response.

"Your flight is tomorrow. I'll send you the ticket information."

"You already bought it?" I ask.

"I knew you would come." She smiles into the camera. Now go pack, you bitch! I can't wait to see you!"

The line clicks. Moaning, I push myself off of the couch and walk into the bedroom.

I start packing all of my warm clothes, unsure of what to expect. Is Boston cold in the winter? Obviously. But how cold? Long sleeve shirt and jeans, or three shirts, a jacket, a scarf, mittens, leggings, and jeans, along with boots?

Something tells me it's the second one, so I pack as much stuff as I can and check my phone for the details.

It's already nine at night and my flight is in at five tomorrow morning.

I go remove my makeup and brush my hair, and then I walk into the bedroom in my towel and dig through my dresser.

My hand hits a soft gray t-shirt.

With shaking hands, I slowly pull it out, looking down at it.

This is Tyler's shirt.

My hands tremble as I clutch the fabric in my hands, my heart racing.

I miss him so much. So much it hurts my whole body.

I pull his shirt on, and it goes down just past my butt.

I pull on a white long and crawl into the bed, clutching the fabric of the shirt in my hands as I think back to that night.

Eight months ago February 14th:

I step around Tyler's soaked body, slipping against the floor of the shower. Before I even have a chance to realize I'm falling, Tyler's strong arm wraps around my, pulling my naked body flush against his.

"Where do you think you're going?" He murmurs, the water falling onto his head bouncing off and hitting my in the face. I stare into his blue-grey eyes, feeling happier than I've felt in eight years.

"Hmm?" He hums.

"Oh, uh, I was shutting off the water..." I trail off.

We've done everything we can without having sex, so why is he stopping me?

He smiles, a warm, beautiful smile, flashing his white and perfectly straight teeth.

"But you're not going to leave yet, right?" He whispers, moving his head closer to me.

"No." I whisper, my heart aching at the thought of leaving him. He frowns a little, his smile dulling.

"Why are you sad?"

"I'm not sad." I say, wiggling out of his grip and shutting off the water.

"Yes you are." He says. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing Tyler, nothing."

I get out of the shower and grab a towel, handing it to him. I grab the other towel and wrap it around my body, stepping away from him so he can get out.

He wraps the towel around his waist, his eyes not leaving mine once.

When his towel is secure, he walks towards me, backing me into the wall. He hands rest on either side of my head, his muscles bulging.

"Why are you sad?" He repeats.

I stare into his eyes for a long time, swallowing the pain I feel.

"Because I'm going to have to leave, and you're going to New England and we're going to be apart again, and-"

He presses his finger to my lips.

"You told me to tell you." I say against his finger.

His eyes study mine for a long time, and he looks like he's in physical pain. His Adam's apple bobs as he swallows.

"Dammit, I love you so much." He whispers. "And it's going to hurt like hell when you leave again, but there won't be a day to pass where I won't love you unconditionally. I don't think I'll ever get married, I can't. Not without you."

He runs his fingers through my wet hair.

"I love you too." I whisper.

He leans in, his lips lingering in front of mine, our breathes mingling.

"Let's not think about you leaving. Let's focus on right now." He whispers, and then he kisses me softly, slowly.

I hear a knock on the hotel room door. He pulls away from me, pressing his finger to my lips.

"Stay here." He murmurs. "Don't go anywhere."

"Okay." I mumble. His eyes linger on me for a second, and then he darts in and kisses me again, grinning like a child. He walks out of the room to the hotel door.

"You already got out of your tux? Tyler! The wedding is still on! I need your help, Casey is missing." Kathryn says. "And she left her clutch on the table. You don't think she bailed, do you? You did know that Casey is here, right?"

"Mom, I can assure you that Casey is not missing." Tyler says calmly.

"What do you mean she's not-oh my god, are you naked. Is Casey naked?"

"I'll just take her clutch from you. Thanks Mom, let me know when the wedding is over."

"Casey is in there with you?" Kathryn asks.

"Mom, thank you."

I the door shuts.

Tyler comes walking back in, his chest covered in water droplets. He sets my clutch on the counter, a giant smile on his face.

"I love looking at you." He says, studying me. "You are so beautiful, Darling."

Present Day, November 20th

Tears gush down my cheeks as I sit in this two bedroom apartment alone.

I'm so lonely, I fee so dead and empty inside. The only person who can make me feel so whole is Tyler. He can make me explode with adoration with just one smile, one look, one touch.

I miss him. I miss him so much.

For the millionth time in the last couple of months, I cry myself to sleep.

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