Astrid silently glares at the boxes that rein in the empty room across from hers.
She couldn't go through them but she needed to, and even though she heard it from peppy bleach haired Melanie- she knows he has to.
"Astrid?"
She turns to see Jason walking towards her, hands deep in the pocket of his joggers.
He sees the name scattered on the boxes and lets out a soft sigh, "Is that her name?"
She wants to tell him that he can say her name- that she won't break.
But she knows that if she can't even do that- who's to say she won't break.
Astrid nods lightly, feet carrying her to the boxes, gently falling to sit on her knees as she meticulously peels off the table from the brown box.
He doesn't move closer— leaning against the door frame.
She wonders somewhere in the back of her mind if it's because he's scared of her.
And he can feel the ringing in his head from being remotely close to another human being in that moment- even if he did feel safe around her.
He couldn't fathom being around someone when he was like this— heart pounding, head racing, hands shaking—
He hated being like this— despised it to say the least but he couldn't help it, not if he wanted to— and god he wanted to.
The circles under his eyes look like he hadn't slept a day in his life, his joggers and shirt not matching his normal appearance..
His hair was flat and he hadn't even thought enough to wear a jacket in the freezing air of the outside world— he was just that out of sorts in the moment.
And if it weren't for his worry of her mental state (amongst his own- though he never truly took the time to care for himself as he did others) he would be crippled in bed, probably sleeping away the hours or perhaps staring at a blank wall.
That's just how it was.
And so he stands against the hardwood frame of what would be the room of the girl he cares about's other half.
She stops, rolling the tape into a small wad before taking a deep breath. She slowly pulls open the box, biting her bottom lip as she pulls out the first item.
It's a light pink blanket with a pink cherry blossom on the bottom corner-
When they were born, Arden got the pink cherry blossom and Astrid got a white blanket with a white cherry blossom.
She stares at it for a moment wistfully, before gripping it in her fingertips and bringing it to her lips.
He watches the tears begins to spill over her eyelids, clutching the blanket.
Unlike most times, Jason can't find it within him to pull himself together and comfort her.
So she sits on the floor, his empty presence lingering at the door, watching her break to pieces before him.
He only shoves hands deeper in his pockets, clenching his teeth.
She folds the blanket, fingertips shaking.
He breathes in deeply— the shakiness of their breaths matching in that moment.
He closes his eyes resting it against the door, blinking slowly in exhaustion as she gently pulls out a photograph from the box.
In the photo she and the identical girl besides her were laughing wildly. Astrid's legs were splayed over her sisters lap, the two posing wildly while giggling— probably at something behind the camera.
The picture couldn't have been more than a couple years old but it looked like Astrid had grown by ten years in that time.
The light in her eyes was gone and she still had a little weight on her— she was no where near fat but she was now a walking skeleton- by the time Jason had met her he'd wondered if she'd eaten a meal in the past weeks.
It was crazy for Jason- it was as if he'd been watching her from the sidelines.
But then she rests her head in her arms, body wracking with sobs.
Jason gently sighs, picking himself up from the door frame where he resides, shuffling over to her, sinking down behind her to hold her against his chest.
He wraps his arms around her, pressing his lips to the top of her head— but she can tell that he doesn't have the energy to this and she blames himself for wearing him out.
If only she knew.
•••
Jason can feel his breaths beginning to labour, Astrid still in his arms— now limp from crying herself out.
He knew he shouldn't have gotten to close— but she was so broken he couldn't just stand by.
"Jason?"
Jason's head whips around and Alex's eyebrows furrow, Kevin's face holding the same expression.
"Take her," He breathes, "I-I can't."
And he's not sure if it's the strain in his voice or the way his entire body is beginning to shake but Alexander quickly takes his place, wrapping his passed out sister in his arms.
The ringing in Jason's ears was so loud he could barely push himself up long enough to get to the wall.
They watch his breaths labour heavily, entire body shaking.
And slowly they watch him slide down the wall, wrapping his arms around his knees.
They can hear his teeth chattering from where they stand— they can see his body shaking with sobs.
He's not sure how long he was away from the real world, lost in a heap of his thoughts and sobs that clawed their way from his throat but he knows it must've been a while, because as soon as he opens his eyes he feels dizzier than he's felt in a long time.
His breaths are still unstable and his teeth are chattering like he's reached the final stages hypothermia. They watch him tug his fingers through his hair- eyes still squeezed shut- tugging at his red locks, back slumping against the wall as he breathes in and out.
He slowly blinks open his eyes and finds three pairs of eyes staring back at him.
He tries to push himself up— most likely to run out but he stumbles, Kevin catching the boy before he can crumple to the ground.
Perks of social anxiety- instead of just being able to be embarrassed by his friends seeing his panic attack he can almost swear they hate him.
But as he crumples to the ground— instead of Jason being the one to support Astrid, she stands, eyes still puffy as she wraps his arm over her shoulders.
She leads him and Kevin towards her room, she quietly switches with Alexander.
She pulls back her duvet and Jason shakes his head as they sit them down, "I-I-I ca-can't t-t-take y-y-your b-b-b-bed."
She shakes her head quietly, gently pushing his shoulders back so he lays down, covering him with her duvet.
"As-s-t-t-tr-trid—"
She shakes her head lightly, as if saying "Don't fight me on this."
Kevin and Alexander exchange looks.
Jason looked so young in that moment— it then that Kevin realises how fast he must've had to grow up- how long he'd been misjudging Jason.
He was very clearly struggling to hold onto her but he didn't want to disrupt herself— he was willing to suffer in order to help someone else.
So as they break their gaze from one another, they watch Astrid gently brush the hair from his closed eyes as he swallows quietly, lips parting with exhausted breaths.
That's the moment Alexander knows he could trust Jason with his sister.
YOU ARE READING
Crestfallen » Jason Blossom. #wattys2018
Fanfiction"I haven't seen her smile, since the day of the accident. Jason, you are our best shot at ever getting her to talk again. She hasn't talked in two and a half years, and I heard her laugh when she was with you, do you know what that's like for me?" ...
