Falling Into Oblivion

Prologue

I'm tired .

Exhausted actually .

Do I actually feel that way ?
Or am I just numb ?

I don't know.  I'm totally lost .

I Don't know where I'm headed and I don't know where I currently am .

At this point , I'm contemplating giving up .

I don't mean killing myself .

Just being indifferent .

Did you know that being indifferent is worse than dying ?

When one is indifferent , you see , you can experience everything and not care at all .
When one is dead , you just don't exist and you don't experience .

How is it that I went from being happy , chatty , carefree and laughing to feeling nothing at all  and staying silent ?

Did it happen when I transferred ?
When I found out that my grandfather was sick?
Or when I got a not-so-pretty mark at school ?

All these questions and to put it simply , the answer is that I just don't know .

It just happened  .
And I have no idea why .

I'm making a mistake

I actually made the mistake the day I decided to put what I felt , have been feeling on paper , and let people read it .

I wasn't supposed to tell anyone about this , I was supposed to keep it all in ... but I couldn't ; not because I gossip , but because of the simple fact that if I didn't tell anyone , I knew that I would've blown up like a violent bomb in front of everyone and embarrassed myself .

Was I supposed to start this story with an alarm beeping full force , a dog licking my face and my mother ordering me to wake up ?

No . And if you want that kind of story , I suggest you look elsewhere .

This story that I'm about to tell you , isn't about romance , it isn't about the paranormal or about rockstars falling inlove with 'normal' people ... it's about how I fell into the oblivion called nothingness.

Do me a favor and keep it a secret. 

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