X Crossed X

Chapter 3: You're A Bitch

           

JJ was laying in my bed when I walked in, in my pj's. I shut my door and climbed in. "I say prayers, so if you don't want to watch you can turn around." I warned. "It's fine." He smiled. He still likes me? After all I've put him through?

I said my prayers and kissed the picture of my dad. "Night Daddy." I whispered. "What happened to him?" "He died in an accident a few years back. It was really fast. I miss him every day, but that's not important right now." I sighed. "I didn't know your dad died." "Not many people do. They think that Jake is my dad. My mom married him like two years after my dad died. I have an older brother in the army, and little twin sisters who are almost 17. My first boyfriend experience was not a good one, and neither were a couple other ones." "Tell me." "You really want to know?" I asked feeling the pain. "Yeah, tell me." "Okay, my first boyfriend was Russian, and when his parents found out me, they put their foot down. I had another one after him, but he was more into it than I was. The one after that abused me, like beat the shit out of me once when he was drunk. My older brother Ian, and my step-dad took care of him. I'm going to put this out there right now, I don't hate Jake. I like him and I think that he's the best thing for my mom, now that my dad is dead. Anyway, the last boyfriend I had is the one that I hook up with, every now and again. He's playing with my emotions which is why I can't let go." I explained. "But, you tell anyone, and I'll cut your balls off." "I won't. Wow. You have.... Issues." "Still love me?" "Yeah." "Damn."

Monday morning, Kass and I were walking the track, when we looked down and saw JJ and Paul tossing a ball back and forth. I decided to yell down. "You suck! You look like a fucking hippy! Cut your hair!" We both laughed at my remarks." They looked up and waved. "What are you doing?" JJ yelled. "Watching you play." I joked. "Nah, Kass wanted to walk today, and no schools outside track is plowed. So, we came here." I yelled down.

"In class, we were watching a movie. Paul sat next to Kassie and JJ sat next to me. "Hi." "Get away from me!" I laughed. "Why? I'm not doing anything yet." He grinned. "Oh, God." "That's what you're going to say." "Please just shut your fucking face!" I begged. "I can't, it's stuck staring at you." "Oh, God. Just fuck him already." Kass rolled her eyes. "You know what.... NO!" I sighed.

They came home with us after class. I couldn't deal with him. I know what I told him, and he knows it too. I guess he's not that bad of a guy, because he hasn't brought it up. But, it's still early.

My cell buzzed, Trey was texting me.

"Wanna come over? I need you."

"Um, Idk."

"Please?"

"Sure, give me 20 minutes."

"K =)"

"Hey guys, just order or make dinner without me. I'll be back in an hour or so." "Where are you going?" Kass asked. "Just don't worry. I'll be back." I got my keys and went outside. JJ followed. "Where are you going?" he asked concerned. "My friend needs me, don't worry about it." "What friend?" "Don't worry about it." I got into my car and left. Of course JJ told Kass that my "friend" needed me, and of course Kass told him what that meant.

Afterward, I got up to get dressed right away, and he just stared at me, before he spoke. "I heard a rumor." He sighed, and I knew what he had heard. "What?" I asked. "What's going on between you and JJ. I heard you're talking." "Nothing is going on between JJ and I. His best friend is Kassie's boyfriend. And, I'm unavailable, and not because of you. I just don't want a monogamous relationship right now." "Okay." "I'm not even sure I even want you anymore." "Why not?" "Because, this is getting old. I need you to move on, without me. You don't love me anymore." "How do you know that?" "Because, I don't love you anymore." It hurt me to say it, but I had to. "You used to need me just as much as I needed you." "I know, but things change. People change. Priorities change." "This is about that new guy, JJ isn't it?" he asked thinking about it. "No, it's not. There is NOTHING going on between us. He's just a friend of my sister." I made myself clear. "You'll need me soon enough. You'll come crying like you always do. I was there for you when you got the shit beat out of you. You and I always get back together. Your father knew we'd end up together." "Don't you dare bring my father into this! He never "knew" a thing. He'd never have known what you use me for. He didn't know that I was going to get abused, and he didn't know that he was going to die that day. SO don't you dare even talk about my father!" I was pissed, so I left. I deleted his number out of my phone, so even if he text me I wouldn't know it was him.

I got back to the apartment, and got inside. They were watching a movie and laughing. I went straight to my room. JJ knocked on my door. I had tears running down my face. "What?" I answered. "What's wro-." "Shh, come in." I stopped him so Kass wouldn't hear him. He came in my room and I shut the door. "He brought up my dad. He said that I can't stop seeing him because, we always "get back together" and my dad knew that "we'd end up together." I told him that my father never knew what he would end up using me for, he never knew that I'd be abused, and he never knew he's die that day. Even though I begged him to stay home." I cried. "Come here. Why did he say that in the first place?" JJ pulled me close to him. "He said it because I told him I wasn't sure that I wanted him anymore. Because, I don't love him anymore, and he thought that it was because of you. He heard a rumor that we were talking. But, it's not because of you. So, don't think that."