I'm Not Okay [UsUk]

Isolation

A bit later in the day, when school was finished, Alfred, his brother and their friends all managed to catch the bus to home. It was a rare happening, since Gilbert sometimes had his parents pick him up, Arthur went by foot a lot of times, so they were happy to have their time together.

The British boy still didn't fully believe Alfred since their little conversation at lunchbreak, and was now stuck in one of the biggest dilemmas of his life - should he stay true to the one he loved and respect his privacy, or try to help and find the root of his problem, even with the cost of Alfred getting mad at him for doing such a thing?

"Today was quite an exhausting day. I say we all get together this afternoon for some warm drinks and a movie! We don't have that much homework, and it seems like a good time for that. Who's in?" Elizabeta, the happy Hungarian girl, proposed a suggestion, hoping that she'd get positive answers to it.

As much as Alfred wanted to, he knew he wasn't able to leave his house today. His dad was home, and even if he weren't, the boy was currently trapped in a ball of constant fear that something bad would happen to him and bring him down to an even worse mental state than he already was in. "I'll have to pass... I doubt I'd be allowed to go anywere on a Monday."

"Same with me." Matthew added on, which was perfectly reasonable. If Alfred couldn't go, it was already obvious that he wouldn't go either.

"Fine... What about you, Arthur?" Elizabeta seemed a little bit disappointed, but still held on hope that the Brit would be free. Of course, Gilbert didn't even need to be asked. He used every single possible second to hang out with the girl.

"I'm not sure, but I'll call you if I can come along."
In reality, Arthur was always free to hang out. His football trainings were once or twice in two weeks, and he didn't have any extracurricular activities besides that. But, lately, his thoughts and worries about Alfred were constant and actually quite overwhelming, and he just wanted to stay in his room for a while, relax with his guitar and think about how to solve this problem and what it was in the first place.

Once the school bus stopped at the first station, Alfred, Arthur and his brother got off and greeted the rest of their friends goodbye. The Brit had about fifteen more minutes to go by foot unlike the American brothers - their house was right by the station.

"So... I'll see you around." Arthur softly smiled to the other, fixing up his backpack so it would be more comfortable over his shoulder.

"Yeah, see you", Alfred shyly replied before they parted, the two brothers heading towards their home. Matthew couldn't help but smile a little at the two, loving their closeness, especially that look in his older brother's eyes which clearly said how much he was in love.

"It's so nice to see you in love, you know that?" The younger American said as they slowly made their way to the house in no hurry whatsoever.

Alfred didn't reply in words, but just gave a pleased, happy look towards Matthew. "Yes, well... I'm enjoying it too."

He truly didn't hurry home, and would in all honesty rather stay outside than have to look his father in the eyes again. Lately, especially in the past couple of weeks, coming home was nothing more but feeling scared and anxious, with a strong will to escape. Truth be told, he spent a few nights completely awake, lost in the thought of how nice it would be to run away and never come back - but then, the thought of his younger brother who still needed to be protected flashed in his mind and he just couldn't bring himself to leave.

It would be selfish.

With visible hesitation, he unlocked the door, Matthew getting in first. Luckily, their dad seemed to be busy with someone on the phone, shouting as he always did, so they went to their room unnoticed.