I'm patiently waiting for pinof 9 while writing more of this shitty story (if it comes out while I'm writing I swear to god I'm suing them) (also apparently some people don't understand 24hour clock which I use in this so basically 0-12 is just normal am, and then 13, 14, etc, is 1 pm, 2 pm, etc...)
I grab my phone, screen full off notifications from various people. Laughing slightly at people's concern, I open up messages, starting to reply.
Justin- what the fuck man????? where r u?? max is pissed cause u missed practice today (11:35)
Justin- it's been fucking hours since i sent that. u never go that long without going on ur phone! (15:21)
Justin- can u not ignore me thanx (16:04)
- sorry i didn't answer, dan and i were at the beach
I reply quickly, instantly getting a response.
Justin- WE DON'T LIVE ANYWHERE NEAR A BEACH WHAT THE FUCK
- uh dan and i kinda sorta maybe ran away
Justin- am i surprised? no. am i confused? yes.
Justin- WHY???????????????????????????
- everyone back there except u are just a bunch of shitty assholes
Justin- true
- i have a shit tonne of people texting me, i gotta go bish
Justin- swish swish bish
- NOOOOOO
I exit the conversation, going onto my next notification; that being Max. I roll my eyes, preparing for whatever bullshit he has to say to me.
Max- where the fuck are you? you missed practice and you're just letting the team down (12:40)
Max- selfish cunt (12:59)
Max- I bet you're off in fairyland with your little faggot boyfriend Dan (13:21)
The last message convinces me to block his number, so I do so promptly, along with all of the other jock jerks that have tried to contact me. I'm done with this shit; these people don't deserve answers from me.
"You okay?" Dan asks, looking up from where he was twiddling his thumbs.
"I'm fine, just dickheads texting me. I blocked their numbers, though. It's all fine now. No more assholes out here." I explain, shuffling closer and holding him tightly, mostly for my own sake.
I feel like screaming, letting myself cry. I feel as though I'm going to break down. But I shouldn't. I'm Phil Lester. I suppress my emotions and smile through assholes trying to make me someone I'm not. I don't let my negative emotions out, despite my fucked up step-mum and the distorted people from that damned school. I don't have breakdowns. I can't. I won't. People like me don't cry; I'm strong and stable, but in this moment I feel weak. I can't be weak.
While my mind is at conflict, I don't even notice that I've already started crying; sobbing into Dan's neck, which my head's leant against. He's running a hand through my hair, and I instantly pull my head up, wiping my eyes and blabbering an apology.
"Sorry, I- god, I swear, I'm fine, I- why am I even crying? I'm a dude, I shouldn't feel shit!" I apologise, but start to just get angry at myself towards the end.
"Sh, Phil, it's fine. You can have emotions, you're not weak for letting them out. I know you bottle stuff up, I mean, how could you not be upset about everything? Having emotions is what makes us people, for fuck's sake!" Dan comforts, cuddling up to me, running a hand across my cheek.
I guess after bottling all of this up, I've been containing so much, and now; now, I guess the bottles have smashed, and I can't keep anything in. Dan continues to stroke my cheek as I almost scream, choked out sobs escaping my mouth, shoving everything back down my throat not even being an option at this point. He says alming words in a soft voice, and I think, at some point, I stop crying.
YOU ARE READING
fun ; phan
Fanfiction"Let's go have fun," - Phil, the school jock who towers over everyone in height, falls fast for a short boy named Dan. [COMPLETED]
