Define Love

16

I continued to type and erase every message I came up with. None of them were good enough. Y/n is my girlfriend and I haven't spoken to her properly in an entire week, nothing I say can fix this. It doesn't help the situation either that I've been confiding in Ty with our problems instead of the person I have problems with.

We're close, he is like a brother to me and I a sister to him. Y/n doesn't know that though which only makes me feel even worse. What the fuck am I supposed to do in a situation like this? There's so much stress on my shoulders, I'm not sure what to do.

There's a lot of tension in my family as well, as the week progressed our conversations became less frequent. At least with me that's how it was, at times I've caught Taylor giving me dirty looks. Meaning she's most likely been texting Y/n or she's just in another one of her moods. Knowing how close Taylor and Y/n have gotten it's probably the first option.

Y/n gets along so well with my family I doubt me not inviting her over has stopped them from conversing with her. Today was different though, Taylor wasn't being a bitch, Chris was joking around with me like old times and I helped Mom cook dinner. Things were looking up but in a way where you're at the top of a roller coaster right before the drop. It fills you with anxiety but also gives you an addictive rush.

That's sort of how my relationship with Y/n is right now, like a roller coaster. We have ups and downs but either way I'm never getting off this ride. Texting her wasn't the best option after this stressful week, I had to see her in person and explain myself then apologize in a way that she knows it's genuine.

I can do it after dinner. I'll call her, ask if we can meet then if she hopefully says yes, I'll do everything in my power to make it up to her. If that doesn't work I don't what I would do. Even I haven't shown it to, Y/n really is my everything our relationship has been so beautiful up until last week. I've never envisioned myself as the violent type but I completely went off on Elizabeth's and allowed my rage to blind me completely.

Now I'm left with a large amount of guilt and fear in my heart. Have I really turned into one of those girls that will beat anyone's ass when they make a move on their significant other? It wasn't right of me, maybe in the future I'll be able to apologize for my actions but I still can't stand the sight of her to begin with.

I'm aware of all the things I've done wrong and how childish this is but I haven't done a single thing to fix it. I'm going to fix it. I'm going to fix us. Even if I have to beg on my knees for forgiveness. Fuck my dignity, if I don't have Y/n what's the point?

"Lauren! Mom wants your help." Taylor told me, nodding her head in the direction of the kitchen. Her face suddenly lit up like a Christmas tree as familiar screaming was heard from the front of the house.

"Thanks Tay-" She ran off before I got the chance to say anything else. I laughed it off. "Go wait at the table if you want fam." I told Tyrone, pointing in the direction of the dining room table.

"Aight." He responded, doing just that.

He was a good guy, his girlfriend and daughter were amazing to. Tonight was a chill night or so I thought. I was only wearing a pair of sweats and an old shirt. My hand went up to touch the wall as I stumbled at the sight in front of me.

"How are you?!" Taylor screamed, throwing her arms around Y/n as if they were longtime friends.

"I'm alright where's-"

It that moment Y/n's eyes met mine as I simply stared her down with my mouth agape. A knot formed in my stomach. I got a sense of deja vu as I realized, my outfit was no where near dress to impress. Without uttering a single word, I made a beeline for the stairs and ran up to my room.