This Is Us || Jess Mariano

18

Luke, Lorelai, Rory and Charlotte were sat in Miss Patty's listening to Taylor going on about how there were too many birds landing on the street lights and relieving themselves on people.

"You get dumped on, Taylor?" Babette shouted out.

"It's not just me..." Taylor said.

"Hey, if anybody has a picture of Taylor getting dumped on, I'll pay top dollar." Luke said.

"I'll check the internet." Charlotte grinned.

"Taylor, all animals have to...you know. How are you going to stop birds from doing that?" Miss Patty asked.

"Easy. Put sharp metal spikes on the top of the fixtures, then when they land, pow, they're shish-kebabs!" Taylor said.

"That's cruel!" Rory called out.

"You can't do that." Babette said.

"I'd rather have bird crap fall on my head." Andrew nodded agreeing.

"There it is, our new town slogan." Lorelai joked.

"I like it." Rory grinned.

"I see coffee mugs, t-shirts..." Lorelai said.

"Don't forget stuffed shish-kebabbed birds!" Charlotte grinned.

"That moan when you squeeze them..." Lorelai started to say but was interrupted by a man coming through the large sliding door.

"Excuse me." He said.

"May I help you, sir?" Taylor asked.

"Yes, I was looking for..." He said. "Ah, there she is...Patricia." He smiled.

"Patricia...well, well, well!" Lorelai teased and everyone laughed.

"Oh stop it!" Miss Patty smirked.

"Are you ready?" The man asked.

"I'm right in the middle of something, Jésus, but I'll be right out. Patience." She said.

"Ok." He said walking out.

"Now, as we were saying..." Taylor said.

"Who's the fox, Patty?" Babette asked.

"Excuse me!" Taylor exclaimed.

"I met him at a funeral. Great guy, good dancer, Latin..." Miss Patty smiled getting another 'oooh' from everyone.

"People, order please!" Taylor exclaimed frustrated.

"He better treat you right, this guy." Lorelai said.

"Yeah, how well do you know him?" Babette asked.

"Well, I just met him."

"I could look him up on the internet." Kirk suggested.

"Along with photos of Taylor getting dumped on!" Charlotte grinned.

"People, please!" Taylor shouted. "Now, due to the lack of response, we'll hold off on the bird spikes." He said reluctantly.

"Good." Luke said.

"Let Miss Patty's date begin!" Lorelai grinned causing everyone to start getting up.

"Hold it. There's one more issue that must be addressed before we can adjourn. All right. Now, that weird, taciturn fellow who's always walking around with his backpack has put in an absurd request to stage a protest in the town square." Taylor said.

"The town loner?" Lorelai asked.

"That guy still lives around here?" Luke said.

"Somewhere in the hills, right?" Babette said.