SDMN Oneshots

There's A Fine, Fine Line -ksimon (unrequited)

Simon sits alone on his bed in his room, listening to footsteps quickly descending the stairs, before the front door slams. He lets out a shaky breath, wobbling slightly as he stands, moving over to his door, closing it softly, before returning to his bed, where he lies face down.

Really, he thinks, he should have known. He and JJ had been friends for too long for anything he wanted to come true. He should've known he'd end up being used. Although, you can't know if something is worth it unless you actually experience it.

That's where Simon's torn. The part of him that had been pining for this for years, since he was a gangly teenager, stuttering over his words feels like it's okay, like it was worth it, just to be fucked into the mattress by his best mate. At least he got to experience something with JJ somehow.

There's another part of him that's realised what a dick JJ is. He led Simon on, making him feel like they could have something, intertwining their hands around the house, kissing him. Tender, sweet. It felt like JJ was there, like he was invested in it too. But all those moments, all the years he spent hopelessly tripping over himself, those couple of weeks he spent feeling like he'd reached the top of the world, feel like a waste. He could've found somebody that cared, treated him right. But no, he spent years of his life obsessing over some idiot that just wanted someone willing to stick his dick in.

Maybe Simon's eagerness and blind love - he's finally come to admit it, he was in love with JJ, maybe that was part of the appeal. The opportunity to boost his ego, and leave someone else feeling so small and unimportant, feeling so useless without him. It hurts, being used for that sort of petty self-gratification.

Thinking about it, Simon's not that young anymore. By no means is he old, but wasting time on a man that's proved he's really not worth it (although he was a pretty good fuck, a thought Simon mentally slaps away sharpish) is stupid. JJ is confusing, always has been. Simon knows that despite 'evolving', the man probably still doesn't know what he wants from life. What he expects from it.

Too much, if you ask Simon.

Anyway, Simon knows he's got to move on, look elsewhere, find a guy or a girl that'll let him be himself, have the process of falling in love together, and not walk that precarious line between friendship and romance any more. He needs to meet someone, who'll help him move on, but it's hard.

Dedicating so much time to someone makes them a hard habit to kick.

Simon knows, however, if he leaves it much longer, he'll be stuck like this forever. A staple figure of any shitty romance novel, the one who got left behind, who tells his sad tale to inspire the protagonist.

All Simon knows is that he was close. Close, but not close enough.

Author's Notes
Angst inspired by a puppet monster called Kate from a deliberately edgy musical - the oneshot the sidemen fandom neither wanted nor needed.

Trying out another short fic today, because I wanted to know if I could do it. I'm not sure how this came off, but this song gets me properly emo.

I feel like I write too much sometimes so I was trying to get a shorter writing style across, you know? I don't really know why I chose this ship, seeing as I don't ship ksimon at all but it's cool I can deal.

For those of you that know the musical, you'll know there's a reprise of this. We're not following that, I don't think.

Anyway guys, let me know what you think, leave a prompt or anything you feel like, really. It's up to you.

Appreciation as always.

💙😊💙