Paying For Love [3]

(19) Surprise!

Jin's Perspective

💋

"Surprise!"

My eyes are wider than ever. I flinch away from the hand that clasps at my face, trying to get up from under the thighs which glue me to the bed. As I try, the hand that once took my face holds my chest, pushing me down again. There's a whine by my chest, a result from my breath being taken.

"Y/N?" I ask bewildered, snapping my head violently to my bedroom door which is closed.

Your Perspective

"Y/N?" I can hear the shock in his voice. I'm a smiling idiot, watching him struggle to wiggle away from me as he focuses on the bedroom door, then me, the door then me. A repeated cycle, Jin is panicking but my thighs hang onto him tight – afraid to have him run away.

"Yup." I giggle.

"What are you-" his breath is gone, "How are you her-" his eyes are wider, his head now wobbling to catch sights of the window, "What are you doing here?" Jin completes a full sentence, finally.

"I came to surprise you," I say sweetly, ducking my head down so I can meet his lips with mine.

Jin arches his head away, almost flinching. "Yes, but how?" his frustrations are starting to show, the tone he uses reaching higher than I can imagine. "How'd you-"

"Stayed at a near hotel as promised, but I could only afford one night," I say, rubbing his chest with tender palms, "...for the second night, this night, I thought about getting a motel but found it fitting to come surprise you here instead. Aren't I sweet?" My head cocks in the most adorable way.

"How'd you know where the dorm was?" Jin's breath is still non-existent. His brows are caving in to his forehead that ranges in many lines screaming worriedly.

"I know my ways." I smile, eyes flirtatious. "Plus, the last I wanted was to call and ask you to pay for me again, I don't want you spending money on me anymore...I like you too much, feeling like a burden wouldn't compliment my respect for you." I'm shy when I speak such words, freeing my mind and soul when coming out with it.

Jin stops trying to struggle underneath me for a second. I'm grinning when he does, so my lips pucker down to meet his again, he shifts away once more.

"What's wrong?" I chuckle, cupping his cheeks that grow red when staring at his door.

"What's wrong?" Now he's laughing, but there isn't anything funny about it. His mind is screaming internally, and I can see the effects of it while he speaks to me in inhumane screeches, "You're in the dorm. You're in the dorm where all the others can easily see you," Jin is panicking, "You're here, that's what's wrong."

I blink. My smile falls a little. "I didn't realize it would be that big of a deal." I'm innocent as I say this. I look to the door that is shut, blinking blinking blinking.

"How could this not be a risk to you?" Jin asks, his mind, eyes, and panic still focused on the door.

He didn't look at me once.

"How is wanting to spend time with a man I like, risky? They're your group members but you're acting like they're Sarah and Duke." I giggle, playful and not understanding the big deal. Even if they were to come in, sure it would be funny, maybe even uncomfortable and embarrassing. But it wouldn't be something to freak out about, I'm just a girl. I'm just a girl.

"They might as well just be," Jin pipes, wanting me off him as he continues to struggle, "If they see you in here, I won't be able to hear the end of it."

"They'll get over it," I'm still giggling, not comprehending why he's practically pushing me off him, "I'm just a girl, no big deal." I say what I'm thinking, I say it and now I wish I didn't.

What he says next breaks my heart.

"You're not just a girl Y/N!" Jin panics, finally looking at my eyes, "You're a prostitute, and if they see me with you I'm done for!" Just as he finishes saying it, I can see in this eyes that he regrets his words.

I move off him. I don't look at his eyes. They scream to be gentle and genuine, but now my teary vision questions whether he means these looks. Swallowing hard, I balance on my feet, breathe a soft apology from my mouth, and start to move back towards the window where I had once popped in.

"Y/N wait-" his voice is quiet. He seems shocked over what he's said, more importantly, what he's implying.

I don't wait.
His feet move fast to catch up with me.

He calls my name, again and again but I'm already opening the window. The tug at my forearm suggests for me to turn and I catch his eyes just as I'm leaving. For a moment I see his eyes, and there is a hurting, but I can't come to believe it. "Don't worry," I say, forcing a smile onto my lips, "I'm not mad."

A tear hits my cheek.

His jaw loosens, wanting to touch my face. As his fingers move to my face, I arch my head back the way he did twice to me already. I force a slight chuckle, but it barely comes out. "I'll see you tomorrow, or I guess anytime you need me."

"Where will you go?" Jin panics for other reasons now, "Here, just stay here with me. Stay in the dorm with me-" He tries to grab my hand but I hold the window's frame instead. "Y/N," he calls my name, his eyes seeping with regret, "Wait, please let's just talk about this, I didn't mean..."

"...because you're right," I admit, epiphany hitting me. I feel stupid for tricking my brain in seeing this relationship other than what it really was, what he really is. "I'm a prostitute and you're my client. Nothing more. I should stay in my lane and not get caught up in feelings."

"That is not what I meant, I-" Jin's face scrunches, he's starting to build to hurry with words to fix this, to bring me back in. But I don't. I'm not some fish to reel back in when choosing to.

"Don't worry about me." I'm smiling again, "I've always learned to take care of myself. I don't need you." The last sounds too bitter, I frame away from getting carried away with my pain as I wipe my cheeks, shrug, and chuckle again.

"Y/N-" he tries to kiss me, I lean away the same he did to me.

"Y/N-" I jump out the window, the short distance allowing me to crouch successfully to bushes that trail by his bedroom's outer exposure.

"Y/N, would you listen to me for a second!" I'm walking away.

Jin's Perspective

"Y/N, would you listen to me for a second!" You're walking away.

My heart sinks and dissolves within the cavity of my chest. I watch you leave, the darkness of the night swallowing you up; I worry. I worry, and I want to punch something, anything, for what I've said. I find no movement in my muscles, however.

Head ducking, I don't snap my neck around anymore. Like a sloth, I move slow as I slowly find my heavy feet to move over to the bed. As I reach it, as I reach the very spot I hurt you, my attention is pulled from the sheets of my bed to the confused face that opens my door.

Park Jimin.

I force on a smile as he stares into my room, then finds my eyes, "You alright? I thought I heard another voice."

That's because you did. "No, no one else," I answer, not daring to look at my window that is still open from your exit.