Fateful Hindrance

13. Only Fools Fall In Love...And I Guess That's What We Both Are

Chapter 13

Only Fools Fall In Love…And I Guess That’s What We Both Are

 

 

Even with what had happened with Ryan, my dreams that night were still of John.

It was really only one dream.  And that was all it was:  a dream.  Because what happened…I was positive would never happen.

 ...

It was just John and I, lying together on a bed in a room I’d never seen before.  Everything was white: the walls, the bedding, the carpet.  Outside, the sky was clear and blue and a breeze drifted through the open window.

“You know,” John whispered, pulling me closer to him so that both our heads were lying on the same pillow.  “I never thought we’d get to do this again.”

“Me either,” I sighed, tucking my head underneath his chin when I moved even closer.  “I missed it so much.  You’ve got no idea.”

His chest, which I finally noticed was bare, moved as he laughed.  “Oh, I do, Emmy love.  I do.  I just don’t know how long this is going to last.”

My eyebrows furrowed and I placed a hand on his chest, right over his heart to feel it beating strong and steady.  “What are you talking about?”

“Well, with the Order wanting to get rid of the Brotherhood’s founding families…I don’t think I’ve got very long, you know.  They’ve gotten Haidar and Ghada and their kids…Ed’s gone now, too, so…I’m next, right?  I’m the last one.  They wouldn’t go after Dad or Elena because they’re not the leader of the Brotherhood.  I am…so I’m next.”

I knew this was a dream.  I remembered falling asleep after my tears had finally ceased.  I remembered what had caused those tears.  Mine and Ryan’s conversation…

“I’ve known this was coming and I accept that.  I accept another thing, too, now that I know I’m leaving you and never coming back.”

“John, just shut up,” I growled.  I wanted him to stop.  Even dreaming, I wasn’t emotionally stable enough to be hearing this.  I didn’t need to hear him say that he was going to die…that he accepted it and pretty much even welcomed it. 

“Get used to me not being around, Emmy, because it’s going to happen sooner than you realize.  You’re going to have to move on.  I did when I thought I lost you.  I found someone else.  I still love you, of course, but I love her, too.”

My head lifted at that last statement.  He’d found someone else?  Fallen in love with her?  “I said shut up.  Don’t you dare…”

“No,” he laughed, kissing the top of my head.  This wasn’t a laughing matter!  “I felt like I was all alone and she made me feel…less so.  And now you’re going to be alone in the world of the Knights.  You’re still an outsider to almost all of them.  You’ll have to prove yourself to be able to become one of them.  But, of course, you can become one through marriage, just like with the Brotherhood.”

It was then that I sat up, glaring down at him.  I didn’t need words to tell him just how furious I was.

And he had the nerve to smile still.  “Now, I know Ryan wasn’t high on the list of people I liked before, but I’ve changed my mind.  He loves you, Emmy.  Not as much as I do, of course, but it’s enough.  Right now, he really only loves you in the sisterly way, but that can change over time if you make it.  And you will.  Because I want you to stay with him.  Be happy, get married, have kids, grow old with him.  You can do it.”