Fateful Hindrance

17. I Turn Into An Emotional Wreck

***Now, for the chapter you've all REALLY been waiting for!***

Chapter 17

I Turn Into An Emotional Wreck

 

I couldn’t let him go.  Not when I heard the sirens or the people yelling around me or when a hand gently touched my shoulder. 

My eyes were on John’s face as I brushed my fingers through his hair, down his cheek, along his jaw.  The lump in my throat grew as I just looked at him. 

So peaceful, even in death. 

At least I got to see him, show him that I was alive and tell him that all I wanted to do was protect him, that I loved him. 

And he thought I was only a figment of his imagination.  A ghost that had come to take him away and stay with him forever.

Closing my eyes, I lifted my head, letting my tears fall down my face in abandon.  I wasn’t concerned with everyone seeing me, even when I knew Stella and Ren were probably somewhere out in the crowd, trying to push their way through to where John was lying lifeless in my arms. 

And when I opened my eyes, looking at the crowd that gathered at the entrance to the street, I could see their faces, along with the Anna woman, starting straight at me.  Ren looked like he thought he was dreaming, Stella was crying, her blue eyes shining with tears, and Anna was gaping.  I couldn’t hold their gazes, looking back down at John’s peaceful face.     

The hand on my shoulder squeezed gently.  “Em, they need to take him…”

“No,” I croaked out, pushing away the hands that were trying to pull John out of my arms.  “I told him forever.”

Those hands lifted my face, turning it toward the voice, and my eyes locked on Ryan’s.  The pain in his eyes was evident, seeing me as broken as I was with John in my arms.  His fingers brushed over my cheek where John’s blood was streaked.  “Em, they need to take him to the hospital.”

I tried to swallow the lump in my throat, but it didn’t budge.  “But he’s g-gone.”

He shook his head, taking my hand in his to press two fingers to John’s neck.  “He’s still here.”

Feeling the faint pulse beneath my fingers made my sob escape as I hugged him to my chest again.  “Thank you,” I whispered, closing my eyes as I kissed his temple.  “Stay with me now and I’ll stay with you forever.”

“Come on, Em,” Ryan coaxed. 

After letting him go, we watched as the paramedics lift him onto the stretcher and into the ambulance, strapping an oxygen mask to his face while trying to stop the bleeding.  When they closed the doors, I felt the rising panic, thinking that we were leaving without going to the hospital to wait for news. 

Ryan must have felt my internal freak out, because he took my hand the next moment and, with another quick word to the police officers investigating the scene, we were running toward the street where Tory, Jamie, and Jude were waiting by the car, pushing through the dozens of people who crowded around the scene.

“What the hell happened?” Jamie yelled when we reached them. 

“I’ll explain on the way,” Ryan told her, opening the back door before pushing me inside.  “But right now, we need to follow the ambulance to the hospital.”

All of the buildings swept past in a blur as I stared out the window.  Ryan was relaying what had happened when we followed John and the others, but his voice drowned out by my thoughts.