On Loving Paul [McLennon]

Confusion

Another two weeks passed and nothing extremely interesting happened. In all honesty, Paul and John were just confused at what was going on with their feelings and a million questions were running through both of their heads.

Was it just a kiss and nothing more?

What will happen if anyone finds out?

What if someone already found out?

What if it was more than a kiss and they were falling in love?

It was very difficult to keep their thoughts straight while all of this and much more was running through their heads.

Paul noticed, though, that the more time he spent with John, the more time he wanted to spend with John. He genuinely enjoyed his time with John, more than he enjoyed his time with any other being. He was - quite honestly - coming to adore the older boy.

One day, about a week before school started again for the two of them, Paul was sitting with John again in his room. They were just sitting there. Looking at each other. As they often did.

Paul had a distant look in his eyes, staring off into space. He wasn't talking, and neither was John, as they often didn't.

"What's wrong?" John noticed something was a bit off in Paul's mood.

Paul looked over at him, snapping out of his trance. "I was just thinking,"

"About what?" John questioned.

"Us..." Paul stared off into space again. "Us...and what we are. What is us?"

"I don't know," John shook his head. "But it is - " he got very close to Paul's face so that their noses were touching. " - gorgeous."

Paul snaked one arm around John's neck and pulled him closer to kiss his lips. John happily responded to the kiss.

"But," Paul paused. "What - what are we?"

John avoided Paul's gaze.

"John?"

"Paul, I - "

"John!"

He looked into the younger boy's doe eyes. "I - I don't know, Paulie....but I know this much; there's something special. There's a spark. Something I've never felt before with - with anyone!"