On Loving Paul [McLennon]

I Can't Escape My Nightmares

Two weeks into their stay in Hamburg, John woke one night to the sound of terrified screaming. He was curled up beside Paul and it took him only a few moments to realize that Paul was the one screaming.

John sat bolt right up and looked over at Paul who was squirming and writhing, getting tangled up in the covers, a sweat covered wreck. John grabbed his shoulders and tried to shake him awake. "Paul, wake up!"

"Get off!" Paul cried.

It was obvious what Paul was having a nightmare about, and that only made John more determined to wake him. "PAUL, WAKE UP!!" John exclaimed. "Wake up, Paulie! Come on!"

All of a sudden, there was pounding on the door and Paul's eyes flew open. "It's him, isn't it? It's him! Don't answer the door! Don't let him in, John, please!"

"Paul, it's not him." John soothed. "I'm going to see who it is. Don't worry."

"No!" Paul yelped as John strode across the room and threw the door open. "Stop!!"

John looked out into the hallway to see George standing there. "Come on in. Maybe you'll be able to calm him down a bit, eh?" He stepped aside and george hurried past him and ran over to Paul.

"He's coming back," Paul kept muttering over and over again. "He's coming back, he's coming back, he's coming back."

"Hey," George said. "He's not coming back, alright? We're in Germany and he's back in England."

Paul sat up and dried his eyes. "He'll go after Mike then,"

George shook his head. "Mike will be fine,"

"How can you know that?" Paul looked at him.

"I don't know it," George stated. "I'm just sure of it."

This, somehow, seemed to calm Paul down a bit.

"Get some rest, buddy." George said and walked toward John.

Paul sank down into the pillows and was almost immediately asleep once more.

"You're much better at this than I am," John sighed. "Maybe you should have roomed with him. He needs someone who can help him out right now and I'm absolutely useless."

George looked at John for a long while. He could tell him. He could tell him right then and there. He could tell him that he knew. That he had known for two years. He opened his mouth to speak. "I think what he needs right now is you, John. Just simply and plainly you."

John looked at George for a long while before George nodded to him and left the room. John walked over to Paul and sat down on the edge of the bed, absentmindedly stroking Paul's hair.

Something seemed off to John. George was acting...strange. He couldn't quite put his finger on it...but he wanted to know what was going on.

With a tired sigh, he silently vowed to himself that he would discuss it with Paul in the morning before climbing beneath the covers and snuggling up against Paul once more.

"Paul?" John said once they were both awake in the morning. "George was acting strange again last night."

"He does that," Paul sighed. "Frequently. It's been happening a lot lately. Do you think something's wrong?"

"I don't know," John shrugged his shoulders. "But I have noticed one thing. He only does this around the two of us. There may be other people in the room, but it's never been around just you or just me."

Paul thought about this for a few minutes before speaking again. "Do you think he knows something about...us?"

John shook his head and avoided looking Paul in the eyes. "I don't know, Paulie. I don't know."

Paul was, again, silent for a while. "Should we...say something?"

"God, no." John sighed. "If we do, then he might really suspect something and...oh, this is....ugh."

Paul furrowed his brows. "Was that even English?"

"Maybe," John laughed. "Maybe not."

With a roll of his eyes, Paul swung his legs over the edge of the bed, stood, and began getting dressed and ready for the day ahead. John soon followed suit and once the two of them were done, they headed out of the room and across the hall to see if George and Stuart were up yet.