On Loving Paul [McLennon]

The Things I Hear Are Driving Me Mad

A/N: Yes I'm aware Paul and Linda had a ranch in Arizona not Montana but I've been planning this scene for weeks and I really wanted it to snow in it and if you live in England or somewhere else that not America then I'll tell you this; it doesn't really snow in Arizona like ever....so I really wanted snow and I'm sorry for changing where the live and also for this rant ;)

~~~

It was mid-December in 1970, several months after the Beatles broke up. Paul McCartney was still married to Linda. He had a step-daughter and a daughter who was going on two years old. He also had another daughter on the way. He and Linda had formed a band together with several friends called Wings. Life was good. It really was.

But he still missed John terribly. Everyday he thought of him...

At least he had other things and people to worry over and think about. He wasn't dwelling in his past. Or, at least, he wasn't doing so all day long.

At the moment, Paul was in the driver's seat of his car with his hands in the steering wheel. He was lost in his thoughts as he drove down a deserted road surrounded by trees. There were lots of trees on either side of the eleven mile road leading to the McCartney's ranch home in Montana. Paul had agreed to move to America so Linda could be closer to her family but, all the same, the moved away from the hectic city life of New York. Paul and Linda found that their lives were chaotic enough as it was.

So Paul barely noticed the snow whirling around outside or the music blaring, song after song... That is until the radio host's voice spoke. "Up next we've got a new hit from the one, the only, John Lennon!"

Paul nearly drove the car off of the side of the road. He pulled over to the side of the street and listened to radio host's voice. "This song is called Love and, I've got to say, it's one of my personal favorites from Mr. Lennon... Enjoy!"

Paul waited with his breath held as John's distinct piano skills began to play thorough the speakers of the car.... He wasn't quite as good as Paul on the piano, but then again Paul wasn't quite as good as him with a guitar.

"Love is real
Real is love
Love is feeling
Feeling love
Love is wanting
To be loved,"

His voice shocks Paul. Paul hadn't heard that voice since the day the Beatles broke up.

He turned the radio up to full volume.

"Love is touch
Touch is love
Love is reaching
Reaching love
Love is asking
To be loved,"

Paul threw his car door open and stormed out into the snow which was already ankle high. He trekked across the street and grabbed fistfuls of his hair and he began to scream... But he could still hear the song loud and clear blaring from the car stereo.

"Love is you
You and me
Love is knowing
We can be!"

Goddamn Yoko!! Why did she get a song?! WHY DID SHE GET A GODDAMN SONG?!?

Paul sunk to his knees, sitting there surrounded by the snow, and he began to sob into his hands as he continued to scream.

He had spent countless hours writing countless songs with John and he didn't need s song, he didn't want a song, he didn't care about getting a song!! He just wanted to know why freakin Yoko got a song!

"Love is free
Free is love
Love is living
Living love
Love is needing
To be loved,"

He wrote a song for Yoko. John and Paul spent eleven years in a devoted relationship and after three years with Yoko he wrote a song for her and he never wrote a song for Paul!

Paul felt so childish for thinking about it this way but he couldn't help it...and he wasn't sure that he really cared.

He sat in the snow for a long time and it built up another inch or two around him. The snow sunk through his clothing. He legs and his feet and his finger went numb. He couldn't feel his nose, cheeks, or ears either.

Then, at long last, Paul dragged himself to his feet, albeit reluctantly. He got back into his car. He turned the radio - which was now playing Elvis Presley - off and climbed into the back seat. He dug through all of the old things he had in there that he still hadn't cleaned out from when he left the flat he used to share with his band mates.

He eventually found what he was looking for; his old notepad of songs. He began flipping through and saw several songs that he'd completely forgotten about that had never been released and some that were number one hits.

And then he came upon the song he was looking for, and suddenly he was on the verge of tears.

"Baby, I'm amazed at the way you love me all the time,
And maybe I'm afraid of the way I love you.

Maybe I'm amazed at the way you pulled me out of time,
You hung me on the line.
Maybe I'm amazed at the way I really need you.

Baby, I'm a man, maybe I'm a lonely man
Who's in the middle of something
That he doesn't really understand.

Baby, I'm a man,
And maybe you're the only one who could ever help me.
Baby, won't you help me to understand?
Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh.

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
Oh, oh, oh,
Oh, oh, oh, oh,
Oh.

Baby, I'm a man, maybe I'm a lonely man
Who's in the middle of something
That he doesn't really understand.

Baby, I'm a man,
And maybe you're the only one who could ever help me.
Baby, won't you help me to understand?
Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh.

Maybe I'm amazed at the way you're with me all the time,
Maybe I'm afraid of the way I leave you.

Maybe I'm amazed at the way you help me sing my song,
Right me when I'm wrong-
Maybe I'm amazed at the way I really need you."

Paul was about to rip the page from the book and throw it out into the snow, but then he stopped and thought about it and made a decision. He out the notepad down on the passenger's seat and got into the driver's seat. He drove home and picked up the book and rushed into the house, wiping up the remainder of his tears as he went.

"Linda!" He beamed as his burst into the house. "I think I've got a great song for the next album!"