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 I sat in a home that wasn't mine for what seemed like an eternity.  Just sat there.  I tried to stay in the conversation, I tried to participate but it just didn't feel right. 

 Looking at photos of Harry as a child felt like an invasion of his privacy whether he had brought me here or not didn’t matter to me.  It still felt wrong.  He had just found out his grandmother died, and we were in his childhood living room discussing the weather and our term classes like nothing was abnormal.  As if he hadn't just driven four hours away from our campus to be back at home with his family with me in the back seat.

 It just felt wrong.

 Harry's mom, who insisted I call her Anne, never stopped smiling while we were sitting in front of her.  I couldn't decide if I found it more creepy or depressing, her mother had just died and visible grief was miniscule.  I could tell she was trying to keep it hidden but the despair and anguish that was hidden behind her eyes as she smiled was something unmistakable. 

 Everything felt wrong. The conversation. My presence. The circumstances of how we got here.  And what felt most wrong was the ever present looks from Harry that were never accompanied by words. 

 We had started a new pointless conversation to pass the time about our future goals, and when I say 'our', I really mean Anne just questioned me about my plans post-university.  I started talking about my plans to get away and travel while using my foreign language skills.

 As we started talking about where in the world I wanted to travel the back door in the kitchen loudly creaked startling me.  Anne didn't seem fazed and waited with her interested but sorrowful demeanor still focused on me.  I looked back at her and went to speak once again, but instead another voice spoke,

 -MUM!- A young women with light brown colored hair rushed across the room dropping whatever she was holding and pulled Anne into a hug.  She didn't move for a long time, just holding her mother and caressing her hair.  Finally after what seemed like time froze, she pulled away and looked Anne straight in the eye, -You need a cup of tea and a nap.  Time to talk is over.-

 Anne didn't protest, but didn't excuse herself either.  Instead she turned back to me and introduced the women in front of me, -This is my daughter.  Harry's older sister, Gemma.  She is a little protective and her bark is worse than her bite, just a warning.- Anne chuckled as she said the last part.

 Harry joined in with her; it was the first time he had made a noise in what felt like hours.  And honestly, it probably had been.  He leaned over and rubbed my knee cap with his thumb and I expected him to say something snarky about his sister, but instead he just sat there blankly staring at the air in-between us all. 

 I am not that bad Mum!- She defended herself quickly before anyone even had a change to say more.  She didn't speak to me though; all she did was look me over and smile.  But it wasn't sincere in any manner, it reminded me of a seven year old who got a present they didn't like from a distant relative but pretended they loved it.

 -When I come back down, I'm putting water on and bringing you to bed.-  Gemma did just as she said she was leaving me and Harry alone to stare at the lint floating through the air. 

 It just felt even more wrong now to be there. I shouldn’t have been there.

 I sat there for a while.   Just sitting, staring, and encroaching on personal family time before I couldn't take it any longer.  This wasn't my tragedy, family, or town.  I didn't know this woman; I didn’t even know this family, or this boy.  I only tutored him, like twice, OH! And I had fucked him about 12 hours before in the back of his SUV.

 I just felt wrong. I needed to leave.  Finally I just got up and walked to the back door opened it and walked into the garden.  I didn’t really care if Harry decided to follow me or not at this point.  He had made it pretty clear that he wasn’t talking at I didn’t really need to talk to him anyway.

 I sat in the grass and pulled at a few daises before I pulled my phone out.  I needed to call and check in with Blake to let her know I was alive and well. I dialed her number before I lay onto my stomach resting on my elbows.

 -Hey Blakey-poo.-I breathed drowsily.  –Not sure what Harry told you last night, but I probably won’t be back for a few days.  I’m at his house.-

 -Like his house on campus, the one down the street? Or his house, house?- she asked with the wind blowing into her phone. I could tell she was walking around, just not sure where to.

 -Uh, well…his house, house I guess.  It’s kinda hard to explain really.  I’m not really sure I understand it entirely.  I just wanted to let you know though.-

-Thanks babe, I was a little worried to be honest he sounded really upset when he answered the phone last night.  Is he okay?-

 -Actually Blake, I’m not even sure he won’t talk to me.- I started picking at the grass in front of me, and mindlessly tossing it over my shoulder.  Trying to keep my hands busy and my mind on the conversation I was having, instead of the one I wanted to be having with Harry.

 -Well I hate to do this to you but I just go to the shop and I have to start my shift.  Call me when you can okay?- Blake sounded like she really didn’t want to get off the phone with me.  She knew me well enough to know that I really needed a friend right now to talk to even if it was about mindless shit. 

 -Yeah babe.- I huffed, -Oh, and hey be nice to the old man that comes in.  He is just elderly, he doesn’t mean to make you uncomfortable!- I laughed as I remembered to tell her about the regular customer that always came into the little coffee shop she worked at.

 I heard a little chuckle behind me as I hung up the phone, as I turned around Harry was sitting cross legged next to me with a pile of pulled apart grass on his knee.  I wasn’t sure, and I’m still not sure, how long he had been sitting there but he had followed me outside, which showed he wanted something from me.

 -What Harry?-My patience with him was unfairly short knowing that he had just lost his family, but ignoring me all day didn’t exactly sit well with me either.

 -En français mademoiselle.- he retorted with a smirk.

 -Quoi Harry? Ce que tu voulais?-I asked exasperated.  I knew I signed up for tutoring, not full time immersion.

 -Je veux parler. Je veux parler avec toi. De toutes les choses que nous ne disions pas dans la maison.- He reached a hand towards the grass as well and started pulling at it, mindlessly pulling the blades in half, creating his own pile on the small of my back.

 He started talking finally. He poured out everything he was thinking. Even things I didn’t need to know about the slutty neighbors or cheating husband three houses over.  He talked about his sister and growing up with her.  He talked about his mom, his dad, and his grandmother and all of their relationships.

 This felt right.  Lying in the sun, playing with grass listening to Harry tell me his life in French; that felt right.

guys im sorry its taken me so long to update its my senior year and things got crazy when i got a job and trying to keep my grades up but i have 8 days left and fuck school lol im done!! please let me know how you like it!!! comment, vote, yell at me to update!! (it does motivate me i swear!!!)love you IF YOU SEE MISTKES COMMENT!!! PLEASE OR MESSAGE ME BUT NO COMMENT PLEASE

FRENCH TRANSLATIONS:

En français mademoiselle:in french miss.

Quoi Harry? Ce que tu voulais?: What Harry? What do you want?

Je veux parler. Je veux parler avec toi. De toutes les choses que nous ne disions pas dans la maison.:I want to talk. I want to talk with you. About the things we weren't saying in the house.

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