A Hidden Past

Chapter 15

Bella's POV: 

My dad? My mums lover? How is that even possible. This guy looks far too old to be involved with my mum. There's no way. I didn't react. I didn't say a single word. I continued to stare at him, taking in every single detail. When I escape I need to I.D. this guy after all. 

He was pacing back and forth. His arms were raised and his hands tightly held the back of his head. He looked stressed and angry. Maybe he couldn't find my mum. That was good for her but for me, well probably not so good. I tapped by fingernails on the ground. Each nail dancing across the concrete floor. The dirt was congregating under my fingernails and my hands were filthy but it didn't matter. I glanced up towards the man; he looked frustrated now. Was it my tapping? Probably. I persisted. I got quicker and quicker and quicker. Each tap of my nail was louder than the one before. Then suddenly the man lost it. He spun around and charged at me, like how a bull would charge towards a man waving a red cloak. I felt like prey. He grabbed a hold of my hand and squeezed it tightly, he refused to let go. His face was the colour of beetroot. He squeezed tighter and tighter, individual drops of sweat dripping down his forehead. I didn't cry, nor did I beg him to release me. I looked straight into his eyes. He gave me a blank stare back, there was no sign of life behind his eyes. Violently, he let go of my hand and pushed me to the side then, just as quickly, he stormed out the room. The door slammed shut and I felt like the walls of this room shook. 

I held my sore hand up to my chest. Maybe in the future I shouldn't annoy him. My hand throbbed and I could make out the red hand mark the previously gripped my own. It may sound selfish but now I really do want my mum here with me too. 

I woke up later, perhaps several hours seeing as it was now dark in the room. I have no awareness of time however so for all I know the man could of just turned off the lights. I rubbed the sleep away from my eyes, glancing around the room to see if I was alone; which I was. I was beginning to feel a bit hungry, I haven't ate anything since I was brought here and that feels like hours ago. Just as I was about to get up and shout for food to be brought to me the door swung open and the man, who I still have no name for, pushed his way into the room. He looked right at me but didn't seem to view me as a person. As a human. The look in his eye was something I had never seen before. I was scared before but this time was different. Now I was petrified. He cautiously walked towards me. I crawled backwards, trying to create distance between us but he just closed the gap. Soon enough my back met the wall and I had nowhere else to go. I was trapped. The man crouched down in front of me. His eyes were parallel to mine, he had a strange look about him. It made me feel very uncomfortable. 

Through the corner of my eye I spotted movement. It was like an alarm went off in my mind. His hand carefully lifted from his side and appeared in front of my face. He pushed my hair from my face and tucked it behind my ear. I didn't want him touching me. I pushed myself further into the wall. Logically I know it made no difference. His lips were moving, he was saying something but I wasn't focused enough to hear what it was. He appeared to repeat himself, I could see he was beginning to get angry with me. Suddenly his arm shot out and he grabbed a hold of my wrist and pinned it down by my side, I was torn from my daydream. He was yelling all sorts of things at me. A lot that I couldn't comprehend. However, what I noticed instantly was that he was not calling me Bella but rather Jennifer. Did he think I was my mum?  

I tried to squirm out of his grasp but he just seemed to get tighter and tighter. I continued calling me Jennifer and speaking about the old times. I didn't know what was going on. Then all of a sudden he slapped me across the face. It was so strong that for a few minutes I felt dazed and blind. I was slouched on the ground, I couldn't sit up any longer. He had a hold of my wrists and had pinned them above my head. He was sat on top of me, holding me down. I know what's happening. I know what he intends to do. My biological father. 

I squeezed my hands into a ball and tightly closed my eyes. However, this seemed to anger him more. He was yelling at me to look at him. I didn't. I feel him thumbing at my tights, trying to pull them down. I kicked my legs and squirmed underneath him but it didn't do much good. He slapped me again across my face. I could feel the bruising the was going to come. I was completely naked below my waste. I feel vulnerable and ashamed. I can feel him looking at me like a lion looks at meat. He's making strange noises now. I don't know what they mean but I know they aren't good. I stare up at the ceiling. I don't want to see him. He grips my wrists even tighter and I know he's about to do it. I won't scream or call out in pain. I refuse to. However, just as I feel him lower himself I feel a burst of energy. I try to fight him off, I try kicking my legs up and pushing him off me but it doesn't work. He punches my stomach several times, I feel faint and weak. Then I feel it. Unbearable pain. He's ripping my insides apart, destroying me. The tears stream down my cheeks, I can't hold it in. He makes loud noises, grunts. I try to hold it in. I told myself I wouldn't. He forces himself inside of me and I cry out for my mum, not once, not twice. I don't know how many times but I do know that I screamed her name. Screamed so loud but she didn't come and he didn't stop.