I'm back

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I can't say that i have moved one, just because iam dating someone else, i knew from the start that we were never meant to be but i tried, i tried too hard that at a point it was toxic, everyday i would get a little farther away from you but i didn't notice it. My behavior was just the reflection of my fear, my fear of losing you. But tell me how can i lose you when i never had you? When we first met i felt something, a connection but days go by and that fadded away. I kept on trying but i would mess it up, some people would say that i didn't try enough but you would say that i was trying too hard that at a point you talk to me because i just wouldn't go away. I didn't want to force you to talk to me, i only wanted us back to how we were but what we were is the past now. Too much happened between us. I can't say that everything was my fault, because we all know that it wasn't. But i made a lot of mistakes. Mistakes that cannot be forget so i can understand how you behave now to me. But you did things too and i don't hate, even if i said i did, i could never hate you just like i could never forget you. I tried to be your friend but it wasn't working, we would always fight, not because i choose to but because we became different. We were not the same. Now even the tiniest thing we fight about, when we first met we never did that and it was always fun. I never understood why some people would let the person they love go away but now i understand the meaning of «  if you love someone let them go , if they come back it meant to be ».  Iam now letting you go because we are only hurting each other and it's toxic. I don't think it's good to keep up like this, i have someone now and in order to move on we need to part away, maybe one day we will cross path again who knows.         For J.

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