A Little Bit Of Joy | ✔

Chapter Ten : The Boy Who Finally Smiled

"I need to fix them, Logan, I-I need to fix them all!" I felt myself slip into a state of hysteria because my body started trembling and I started laughing in pity. "It's all because of me, I have to-to fix them all! How can I die peacefully w-when my family's falling apart like that? How can I Logan?"

Something snapped in me because I erupted into fresh tears and I couldn't help myself. I buried my face in between my knees and started weeping, my entire body shaking. I could taste the salty tears in my mouth as I tried to wipe them against the fabric of my yoga pants but to no avail. I couldn't stop my tears.

I could feel Logan sitting stiffly beside me and I stammered, "I-I'm s-sorry for being s-so pathetic--- "

"It's okay . . . Hush now," Logan hushed me and I could feel him rubbing my back, trying to soothe me. I didn't know he was capable of providing me with comfort since he was such a bum most of the time, but my body actually relaxed. I looked up from my knees and turned my neck towards him, to see him gingerly, hesitantly and awkwardly rubbing my back with his knuckles, his hand was balled into a fist while his other hand was resting on his thigh.

"Thanks. I'm fine now, you don't need to do that," I said while smiling, my tone hinting amusement and he immediately withdrew his hand like I was on fire.

I grabbed the water bottle and unfastened the lid to greedily gulp water because I felt parched. I was so exhausted with how today's events had turned out, but I never expected for a tranquil day considering the growing tension between Shaun and mum.

"What am I going to do now? My family's a mess . . . I-I can't leave knowing it's because o-of me. What should I do?" I asked almost to myself, fidgeting with my t-shirt and Logan started rubbing my back again. "You don't have to do that, you know right?"

"I know," he mumbled, but he didn't stop. I could feel myself getting calm under his touch and he said wistfully, "When I was little and threw fits or cried, my mum used to rub my back."

"Oh, it works though," I said with a wily grin and he dropped his hand. "What's your mum like?"

He swallowed hard and I noticed a glint of sadness in his eyes, but it disappeared almost immediately.

"Your name's Joy?" he asked, completely ignoring my earlier asked question, but I didn't push the topic further.

"Yeah, noticing the irony of my name, huh?" I snorted and tapped my feet on the road. We were sitting on the elevated footpath right in the middle of the street. "I wonder what made my parents name me Joy. I mean-I'm always making everyone sad with my disease and all, not to be self-deprecating, but I'm just-I guess a-a little bit of Joy."

"Joy," he reiterated, almost breathed like he was savouring the feel of my name rolling off his tongue and his lips curled into the faintest smile. "Joy Jones."

"Yeah, yeah, I prefer JJ. Don't be my mum and call me by my name because it looks like you're being sarcastic and constantly reminding me of how I failed my name," I said bitterly while shaking my head and got up. "Now, let's go back home for dessert. In spite of whatever happened, we don't want to miss dessert since mum made Bánh Flan. It's basically caramel pudding."

He stood up, dusting his pants and murmured something like "Joy"---- as if he still couldn't believe and I laughed.

"Alright, now stop. I'll start hating my name more if you keep repeating like that." I turned around and started walking while he followed close behind me, his scrutinizing gaze burning my back.

* * *

"Go out for a lunch break," grandpa told Logan and me, but both of us had already eaten three hours ago when grandpa wasn't looking at us because we were starving and our usual lunch break was at four which didn't make sense since it was actually tea time. However, we didn't have the courage to enlighten grandpa.