Save yourself // Thomas Shelby

I need you

"You lot a' driving me and my head insane." I shouted through the door of my office, after being raided by the lads with multiple questions regarding this, that, and the other.

Money? Fractions? What to buy Mick's wife for Christmas? You ask and I'll try and help.

It's how it has always been.

"Shout any louder, India, and we'll have the Americans filing a court orda' against the lot of us!" Exclaimed Arthur as he strolled past, causing me to roll my eyes at his words.

It had to be one of my favourite places - here in the office.

I had my own office in every part of the company - but back to where it all began was my favourite.

There were so many memories that were made here. So much that held me to the desk where I was sat.

This was where John and I had taken it too far. It was all good fun. Passion. However, 2months (or so) later, I realised that I had a little one growing inside of me.

The birth of Junior was horrific - I wasn't made for child birth but my heck did Polly strong heartedly maintain an amazing support system throughout.

Even Michael made sure I never fell or did too much - though I knew I could handle anything.

The one night, when working late in the office, Alfie Solomons wondered in.

I was alone, to this I'm sure he was aware, although not unarmed.

But much to the stories - Alfie was pleasant towards me.

John reckons it's because he has a soft spot for myself, perhaps so, but non the less if I didn't know his history I'm sure I'd of fallen for his charms had I been unmarried.

However, the family meeting the next day didn't go down well - as I had failed to inform anyone of Alfie's appearance before 7:30am.

I didn't fancy worrying John so late as he was a little worse for wear when I returned home.

Nor did I fancy going near Tommy since he and I both went head on in a recent argument causing a little awkward tensions between the two of us.

Of course, John who was not happy that neither of us could get on with one another for more than 48 hours.

I think what hurt the most was Tommy's betrayal.

"Tommy..." I managed to cry as it was just myself and him left in the room now.

The police had dragged John from my bare arms as I tried so hard to hold onto him for dear life. "

"Tommy." This time I raised my voice as I couldn't bare to be left in the unknown.

"Quiet now." He simply stated.

How fucking dare he.

"You bastard. You were born by the hands of the devil and delivered to this Earth by Satan himself, Thomas Shelby. You threw the ones you hold closest to you into the gutter - why?! Because they took your darlin' fuckin' Grace who was no good to the world, and yet here I stand. The only fuckin' one here Tommy. So wha' on God's bloody name are you planning. And don't you dare fuvkin' lie to me Tommy or God help ya'" I demanded.

At this point, I had him pinned up against the wall as I grabbed his collar and held tightly - watching the man before my eyes crumble as tears left.

"I've got a plan, Indi. I promise you. But you have to let me control it. Please Indi." He begged through tears, and I gently began to release the bastard.

"But-" I quietly began my question as my voice broke a little "-but why am I still left here Tommy?"

I'd just witnessed my own family be dragged away for crimes they were suddenly reprimanded for.

Not only 30 minutes ago had Tommy been effing and blinding his way through numerous of criminal occasions that each Shelby had taken part in.

"Because how could I shut you in there. You've been protected by us through everything. John would never forgive me for putting you behind bars." He said as he cupped my face and stared into my eyes. "I grant you - it'd be a lot fuckin' easier not having to see your face every fuckin' day India. You break my heart. But fuck me would I put you behind there."

"Well fuck you then Tommy. Because my place is wherever John is." I stated in anger.

"It hurts - you know it'll hurt me whenever you mention you and him in the same bloody sentence. But trust me - ya better out here, on the life side of things India. I need your brains and Junior needs his mum. Not to mention - the house you're gonna buy, you and Johnny boy - that needs focusing on for his return." I glanced at Tommy.

"Wha? You didn't think I'd know if my own brother was planning to move off into some rural little country village. The idea has your name written all over it India. Remember when you once dreamed of that life with me?" He asked looking directly into his whisky glass as he took one swig. "The perfect life." He hummed and looked up at myself, causing me to raise my brow.

It had been years - yet he wouldn't let me go.

"You get him out tommy." I warned. "You get them all out else I'll-"

"Else what India? You'd hand me over? You wouldn't dare." He boldly admitted as he removed himself from his position and began to back me to the wall.

I didn't realise how close I was to the place mere minutes ago where I had him strung up in death's position. "You wouldn't put me there. Suppress your feelings all you like - losing me on top of John Arthur and Pol would kill you." He hissed as his breathing became so close I could feel the warm air from his chest carelessly passing across my cheeks.

"Tommy-" a knock at the door broke the two of us apart as the door began to open.

Isaiah revealed himself as he clocked me and marched towards me.

Isaiah checked every inch of me before indulging me in his arms and hugging me tightly.

"Are you alright?" He inquired, worry clear as daylight in his words.

I nodded.

As I pointed to Tommy, now sat back in the desk where he remained throughout throwing his family in the fire.

I locked eyes with Tommy before speaking to a worried Isaiah.

"He claims he has a plan."