loss for words

body

hands,
trembling like i'm in freezing cold weather like i've lost control because i have

i'm shaking because of the never-ending nightmare that lives inside me, never leaving me alone, never letting me sleep

legs,
they won't run away, they just won't let me. i stand here, frozen. unable to move because you can't run away from yourself.

hair,
i pull it out like i've lost my mind, i have. it covers my face, hiding me from everything except myself

wrists,
they used to be my knight in shining armor, but right now they're not saving me.
i don't think they ever did

why? why does it hurt so bad? why isn't it helping?

head,
get out of my head
go away, get away from me
why won't you leave me alone?

is it because you're inside my head? is it because you're me?

body,
write my name in blood,
let the tears fall, let the panic take over
make me someone else
let me be whoever i want to be

because i'd rather not be myself