green with envy

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there's a hole in my body where my heart's supposed to be.
you picked her over me, but I can't blame you.

i tried to fix myself and make it not hurt as bad but just seeing her makes it all worse.
you just wanted to be happy,
i get that,
i understand that but,
it doesn't ease the pain.

at one point you held my glass heart in your hands.
i was fragile, but you dropped it anyway.
there it fell into a million shards.
you can't piece that back together, trust me i've tried.

now I'm walking around, numb
but i can't blame you,
just because I'm jealous of her.

she's beautiful and kind-hearted.
everything I'm not, apparently.
she makes you smile, so i should be glad you're happy,
but only if you knew what it was doing to me.

killing me softly.

i'd rather the pain be quick, i can't take the pain.
let it be over, please.
I'm begging you

you ask me what's wrong, but letting you go was the hardest thing i've done.
but i couldn't tell you that, i'd be a fool to ruin your happiness.
even though i really want to.

i want to rip you guys apart and force you to be with me.
i'm envious of your happiness with her.
i want to be able to feel again, i want you to my self.

if being like that makes me be with you, then,
i want to be selfish.

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