The Rainbow (Frerard) [underwater_sky]

August - An Archive (Part Six)

            Hunter and I began to deliver the archive out to members of our family later that week. When we had explained the new intention behind the project, they were happy and excited for us and accepted the gift of the binder with open arms. It gave us a thrill to watch people as they reacted to the telling of their own story. They began to relive the experience, but in a more positive way. Even Cassandra didn't mind reading her own memory or having other people read it. It illuminated parts of ourselves to one another that we had had no idea about, and more importantly, it gave us all a way of articulating Gerard's relation to us outside of the established family framework of blood. We were all connected, that was for sure, and it made us freer rather than more restricted. It was a private, personal freedom and we all felt exalted by this fact.

            "You still have the art space, though," Vivian reminded me. "I love this book, but what about the show?"

            Hunter and I had exchanged looks then and realized that even though we had been working really hard through the hottest days of August, we needed to keep going. He was still going to work, but had been starting his assignments there and then bringing them home. We had no idea what we were going to do with the art space and I knew that it was never going to be cohesive. Not only did we not have enough time, but we were not just dealing with just myself and my art anymore. Even though he had been working frantically to get his last piece for the magazine finished, Hunter had become my collaborator. I had been surprised at how much energy the two of us had that night when we did the bulk of the work for the binders, and I had confided to him that I wanted to repeat that experience. His eyes had lit up, and that was all we needed to understand that our creative lives were now merging. Whatever we ended up doing with the art show, it would be something we did together. We had talked about trying to work on one large piece that we both contributed to, but instead decided that we would work parallel and see if we merged at one point. He had a lot of things that he needed to communicate through his own art form, collage and cut-up, and I very much needed to get back to my own. I went through and developed any old canisters of film that I had lying around and back over the ones that I had taken and developed since I had gotten back in December, my hands shaking as I did so. I felt a thrill I had not had in such a long time, and I stared down at my palms, finally happy with myself. I sat with my piles of photos around me and they all took on a heavy significance. I wanted to display almost the entire set of Gerard and I to the world, the ones that I had taken as a throwback to Robert Mapplethorpe. I showed them to Vivian for the first time, and though her eyebrows were raised, she was happy with them.

            "They're beautiful. Honest. Also, someone will want to buy them, someone will want this around," she nodded to herself. The idea of someone buying this made me stop for a second. It wasn't like this was the first time that someone had bought a photo of Gerard and myself. It was one of the first ones I had ever sold, actually, but that had been just our hands. This was definitely a little more than that. I went home after talking to Vivian and made doubles, triples, of all the prints and then I felt my mind more at ease. Vivian had recruited Dean and Callie away from their treasure hunts and love-fest to help out with the show. They weren't back at school yet, but since they weren't thesis defending until later, they had spare time.

            Callie and Dean had gotten a copy of the archive, and when I dropped it off, I told them that things would be a lot easier to understand once they could see from our point of view. They nodded, and though they skipped to their own story first, they eventually got around to reading it all and came over to me to express gratitude. They were happy that I had included them as part of their family, as distant cousins, but still around.

            "You helped us move. You saw us when we needed help the most, and thank you for that," I assured them, nodding my head and shrugged. "I was only telling the truth."