Finding our way back

Chapter 15

Early the next Morning, Connie had woken early, knowing she'd have to get Grace up and to school and had decided to take the pregnancy test; with the test done, she washed her hands and took a shower. Stepping out of the cubicle, she wrapped a towel and her robe around her body and hair before looking at the results; sighing, she quickly disposed of it before stepping back into the bedroom where Jacob was still sleeping. Pulling on her jeans and black and grey sweater, she straightened her hair and went to wake her daughter; seeing Grace sleeping peacefully, she sat and watched her for a couple of minutes before kissing her forehead and brushing her hair back.

"Gracie, time to get up; there'll be pancakes waiting for you"

Leaving her daughter to get ready, she headed downstairs and started the pancake mix; she'd just placed the plate on the table when Grace entered the room and took a seat, hooking her bag on the back of her chair. With her daughter eating, she made a coffee before heading up to the bedroom where Jacob was sat up in the bed; she passed it over to him and sat down as he kissed her.

"Thanks sweetcheeks; how you feeling?"

"Okay; I'm gonna take Grace to school and meet Charlie for breakfast"

"You done the test?" He asked.

"It's negative" she answered before she quickly left the room, not giving him a chance to respond.

By the time she had returned to the house, Jacob had already left for his shift; sitting on the sofa, Sid curled up next to her thigh, she sighed and let her mind wonder. She had been so sure she was pregnant, all the symptoms were there and yet, the test was negative; she had dared to let herself hope she would get a second chance at motherhood. Her relationship with Grace had been so testing and fraught, she'd ended up missing out on so many crucial moments and she knew no matter what she did to try and make up for the past, she could never take it back.

Hearing the front door close, she looked up and saw Jacob standing in the doorway, holding a bunch of flowers and a small stuffed bear.

"You should be working" Connie said, her emotions breaking through the strong voice she tried to put on.

"You need me more" he answered, sitting next to her, placing the items on the coffee table before pulling her into his strong embrace. "I'm sorry sweetcheeks"

"I really thought i was" she whispered through her tears. "It was my second chance"

"It can still happen...if you want it to?" He said, running his fingers through her long brown hair.

Snuggling into his embrace, she let the tears fall until there were none left; lifting her head up, she saw Jacob smiling warmly as he wiped the tracks away.

"Why don't you go and have a shower and I'll whip up some lunch?" He suggested.

"I'm fine" she said, grabbing her phone and leaving the room.

He tried following but Connie had locked herself in her office and wouldn't answer; as the afternoon went on and it got nearer to the time for Grace coming out of school, he knocked on the door once more.

"Con, do you want to get Grace or shall I?"

He took a step back as he heard the door unlock and Connie came out; without a word, she grabbed her coat and car keys and left.

Stood next to the car in the car park, she wiped away a lone tear as she saw her daughter walking over to her; getting into the vehicle, they belted up before she started to drive, in the opposite direction of the house.

"Where are we going mom?"

"Thought we could get a pizza?"

"We had pizza last night"

"And? How was school today?"

"Fine; we had sports"

"Was your leg okay?" She asked, glancing over as they sat at a red light.

"Mom, I'm fine; you don't have to worry about me" Grace groaned.

"I'm your mom; it's my job to worry about you" she answered as they started moving again.

"I'm better now though; you don't have to watch me all the time"

Connie sighed before they continued the drive in silence; as they walked into the house a short while later, pizza in hand, Jacob was waiting at the bottom of the stairs for them.

"Firecracker, take the pizza into the kitchen" Jacob said when he saw the pain on Connie's face.

As Grace dropped her bag and disappeared, he pulled Connie into his arms and held her close.

"I've got you" he whispered as she fought against the tears. "It's okay; I've got you and I'm not letting go"

"I'm sorry" she uttered later that evening while they were snuggled up in bed. "I didn't think it was even a possibility until you said it and then I found myself hoping it was positive and when it wasn't..."

"You were disappointed?" He finished.

"I guess I was; I shouldn't have shut you out though"

"You needed time to face the results but Con, it doesn't change anything; if you want another baby, we can try whenever you're ready."

"I know"

As she lay there, she couldn't help but wonder what would be happened if the test had been positive; would she have been a better mom than when Grace was born?