Lycanthrope

Chapter 19

I didn't love him, at least not yet... the attraction was there, most definitely, I felt a pull towards him.

But lust is not a justifiable reason for one to loose their humanity.

Being a soldier, and one of the status I held, I knew first hand the havoc supernatural species could wreak – how their impossible traits could easily sit them on thrones of skulls; vampires and werewolves were more than capable of destroying human sectors, overpowering them in minutes and slaughtering any innocent in their way. I'd seen it. Strongholds crumbling under the fist of an out of control wolf or vampire. They were strong. I was strong too.

However, Lycans, were on a godly level. Something that I had not yet seen the power of, and didn't think I would want to from the stories.

My mind conjured the images of how Joseph and Alex had easily swept the young blood vampires out of existence, the first time I'd seen them fight. If what Adam said was true. Lycans were beyond that. A shiver danced down my spine.

Primal fear wrapping its claws around my throat and squeezing. I was scared, for the first time in long time. I could feel the goose bumps raise and my heart skip a beat before it thundered.

Not scared of Adam, of Lycans, but of becoming something too powerful.

More than once, I had awoken from a bloody haze to find an ashen battlefield full of mangled bodies at my feet. Hence why I had to beso strict, poised and meticulous. Why I trained and subsequently put myself at the top of the pact in the military. If I could barely control my human self, how would I control myself as a Lycanthrope?

I didn't want to hurt anyone.

But I didn't want to hurt Adam either.

I pushed my palm into the tiled wall, not even feeling the scolding droplets of water spray onto my back.

Reaching down to the knob, I turned off the shower with a sigh. Probably, I concluded, I was overreacting- hungry and tired I was thinking too deeply into things.

Stepping out from behind the shower curtain I paused, then placed a hand on my stomach and frowned. Adam was spoiling me, my body was getting used to being fed regularly again and demanding that I pay it attention. I looked at my reflection in the mirror on the far wall; I was lean, made from low food intake and strenuous, continuous exercise, shapely but not soft like Cathy was. The thought made my eyes draw to the various opalescent scars shimmering across my body. Each the outcome of a victory, I had to remind myself.

The steam finally blurred my image, I toweled myself off but jarred as I realized that there was a set of clothes hanging on the doors hook, my old discarded clothes missing from their spot on the floor. I hadn't even heard him come in...

The hairs stood up again and I bit my lip. Where Lycans predators ofstealth or brute force, or both? Where would Adams weak spot be,would it be behind his neck like a werewolf or was it silver? He'd said something about wolfsbain...

I shook my head, when did I start sizing Adam up, he wasn't my enemy.

I quickly dressed in the soft pajamas but hesitantly opened the door.

Adam was sat on the bed, hunched over his knees, his eyes met mine as soon as I left the bathroom. For a second they were black before flickering back to warm hazel as he regarded me with a nod and thenhe opened his arms out towards me. Something about the way he held himself told me he knew; I felt guilt fill my throat for an unknown reason.

As I closed in, I kept my eyes on the floor, looking the epitome of a child knowing a scolding was to come.

Adams arms pulled me in once I was in range. I was seated firmly between his legs on the edge of the bed, his tense arms left no room for escape.

"Do you know why werewolf packs are so strong, so close?" He started slowly.

"Because you have a mind link?" I tried.

"Because we can smell each others emotions. We can't be untruthful to each other." Adams lips skimmed my shoulder and he sighed, a shuddering sigh.

I turned, craning my neck to face him, his eyes were closed and I knew that if they were open I would've seen them flicker between black and hazel as he fought with his own emotions. I tried to speak, but my tongue was tied, so I settled on resting my hand on his neck and stroking the flesh there.

"Why are you still scared of me?" I felt like I'd betrayed him somehow, but realized, with a thankful sigh, that maybe he had misunderstood.

"I'm not scared of you Adam, but of what I may become." I reached up, taking advantage of his loosened arms, and touched my forehead to his– remembering that it held some kind of significance to him. "I've seen some damn right wrong stuff in my time and I don't want to become a part of the problem."

I felt his eyebrows scrunch up, and he pulled away shortly after, "I wouldn't let you loose control. Just as you keep me sane I'd keep you." his eyes searched into mine, and for a moment it felt like my soul was being thoroughly rummaged through. "Lydia, if you're worried about hurting people it'd be more detrimental to leave us unbounded. There was reason to me being chained before I met you." his eyes were black, tone turning harsh and guttural.

I pushed his shoulders angrily. "That sounds an awful lot like blackmail." I snapped, lightly. "I'm apparently not doing a great jobof keeping you in control at the moment."

Adam whined, smothering his face in a hand, before looking at me again with bright eyes. "Sorry. That's not what I meant. I'm not a good example of control at the moment, I've been without a mate for too long, but you – you'll have me to fall back on. And I have years of experience to draw on." he looked at me hopefully and I could see his hands twitching by his side, wanting to hold me again but holding back and waiting for a cue of permission. He was too sweet sometimes.

"I don't have to make a decision right now though, do I?" I took his hands in my own and fondled them.

"Its... We still have time."

"Okay." I wrapped his arms around my waist and slunk into his chest. Feeling upset that I couldn't bring myself to a firm decision, that I still could not commit and that I knew it was hurting Adam.

He held me closer, kissing my crown and purring as he swayed us back and forth. I found myself biting my lip to overpower the sting in my eyes.

"As long as you need. I can wait."

AN: Lydiiiaaaaaaaaaaaa! come on girl... Even I get frustrated with my characters.
Anyways, hope you enjoyed it! Pleeaase leave a vote and a comment, lets try to get this book in the top count!
Lots of love
Joules xx

P.S If you like Lycanthrope then check out my other book Favoured Ones *shameless plug 😉

((Just editing, not an update sorry guys - BUT I AM CURRENTLY WRITTING CH 20!!))